An Interview on Gratitude with Barbara Rainey

What difference has “the attitude of gratitude” made in your life?
I confess I still complain far too often about far too much. The saying that was popular in the early 70's, "no matter how hard it gets, I won't complain" is sadly not heard at all today. But when I do focus on god's great goodness, gratitude is a natural response. Giving thanks is a daily discipline that I’m working to cultivate. And my new closing for most correspondence is "grateful for you" and I am.

What five things would be at the top of your “Thanksgiving list” for the past year?
1. A healthy new grandson who arrived July 1 and a new son-in-love who joined our family in August. They are both great gifts.

2. I'm grateful for another year of growth in marriage. It is a privilege to have been married these 33 years and to have not experienced being a widow yet.

3. As always each year, I’m grateful for God’s Word which I love increasingly.

4. And as always, I’m grateful for the pilgrims' sacrifice which paved the way for our freedom to worship and to assemble without fear.

5. The Holy Spirit who lives within me, who loves me, guides me, teaches me, convicts me, directs me and is my friend. What an amazing reality.

Because God commands it and we need it. Gratitude takes our eyes off of ourselves and puts them back on the giver of all good things, even those things we perceive as bad or unpleasant. Most American families are drowning in abundance and as a result we have the most self absorbed culture ever. The gift of prosperity does not usher in the response of gratitude as one would imagine. Instead it feeds the roots of narcissism and entitlement. Children who tend to be selfish anyway must be trained in giving thanks. We as adults must discipline ourselves in gratitude. It is not natural. But it is necessary as believers if we are to please god and make any kind of impact on our culture. It is the antidote to insanity. It is the pathway to peace. It is the key to a gracious life. It is the doorway by which even unbelievers cope with the fragility of life because it acknowledges faith in the one who rules.

Why is it important to cultivate an atmosphere of thankfulness in our families? Because God commands it and we need it. Gratitude takes our eyes off of ourselves and puts them back on the giver of all good things, even those things we perceive as bad or unpleasant. Most American families are drowning in abundance and as a result we have the most self absorbed culture ever. The gift of prosperity does not usher in the response of gratitude as one would imagine. Instead it feeds the roots of narcissism and entitlement. Children who tend to be selfish anyway must be trained in giving thanks. We as adults must discipline ourselves in gratitude. It is not natural. But it is necessary as believers if we are to please god and make any kind of impact on our culture. It is the antidote to insanity. It is the pathway to peace. It is the key to a gracious life. It is the doorway by which even unbelievers cope with the fragility of life because it acknowledges faith in the one who rules.

What would you like to see your book (on Thanksgiving) accomplish?
It is my hope that this book would awaken American hearts to the incredible gift of freedom we've been given. We literally have no idea how blessed we are. We have become like the people in Psalm 106 about whom god said: "they did not remember the multitude of his mercies" (v.7), "they soon forgot his works;(v.13), "they forgot god their savior, (v.21), "then they despised the pleasant land; they did not believe his word, but complained in their tents, and did not heed the voice of the lord (v. 24,25)" we Americans have forgotten our heritage. As in the days of Josiah, king of Judah, who discovered the long forgotten book of the law and then upon reading it was broken and repentant, so I pray Americans will rediscover the faith of our forefathers and respond with a humble gratitude for all we've been given.

If you could have lunch with three women (living or dead), who would they be, and what would you want to discuss?
Since I am more of an observer, I would love to watch Mary the mother of Jesus for a day, or Katy the wife of Martin Luther, or Sarah the wife of Jonathan Edwards. To see these women in their time and culture living out their faith would be an amazing privilege and model.

What charges your personal batteries?
Time alone to think and read and pray and to listen to sermons or messages on tape or CDs has always been realigning for me. I'm not energized by people so I need alone time perhaps more than others. But I also need time with my husband to make sure my thinking is balanced and biblical. When I've had time alone I always need and want to interact with him on what I've been thinking. He's more objective than I and more likely to "hear" if my ideas are "off" in any way. Also, I'm recharged by opportunities to be creative. When I have time to paint or the opportunity to work on something of beauty, the hours can fly by almost without notice. I am energized by creating and find almost endless motivation to stay after my creative projects.

What do you most enjoy about being a woman?
Honestly, I most enjoy being taken care of by my wonderful husband. He is so incredibly good to me. When we travel, I ask what time we have to leave the house and beyond that I leave it to him to get us to the airport, to worry about the bags, tipping, being on time, renting a car, checking into a hotel, etc. etc. I also love being feminine and the opportunity to display beauty in a way men can't. It sets us apart as women. Another privilege I have loved is investing in my children. No one has more quantity of influence on them than a mother. It is a high calling and I loved it. Now as a grandmother, I'm discovering how to influence my grandchildren and how to invest in the next generation of young mothers.

What do you find most difficult/challenging about being a godly woman in today’s culture?
Maintaining balance in my loyalties. To influence the culture means one must know it and be in it. The struggle then becomes staying in touch, being relative, but not letting my love for Christ be drained by the good things of this world. There is much to love in this American culture. The challenge is enjoying the blessings god allows without becoming attached.

What one or two woman have been great role models for you as a woman? How have they impacted your life? What have you learned from them?
The two I think of immediately are my mother and Elisabeth Elliot. My mother modeled how to be a wife and mother for me in ways I’m still learning to appreciate. She was there for us in every way that she could be and she has been devoted to my father for over 55 years now. As I became a new believer in Christ in college, I met Elisabeth Elliot through her books and later her newsletters. She modeled for me what a distinctly Christian family looked like and although ours never matched hers, her continual challenge to follow Christ at all cost was a guiding light for many of my formative years.

What do you wish you’d known (or done differently) as a younger woman?
Without question my one regret is that I did not pursue serious Bible study in the years I was birthing and raising young children. At that time in my life studies weren't as available as now, I did not have someone encouraging me to pursue a bible class, and I was so overwhelmed with little ones that the sacrifice required to attend seemed more than I could manage. I had the desire to know the word, but that was all I had. I've watched my married daughter (now with four little ones) make that a priority for the last four years of her life and the maturity and stability that god has built in her life as a result is amazing to behold.

What book(s) have you read in the past year that has/have particularly blessed you?
I have recently almost finished Randy Alcorn's book, Heaven, and it has been such an encouragement to remember what lies beyond this visible world.

How would you like to be remembered by your friends and family?
I'd like to be remembered as one who called others to a higher standard of biblical living. Too many, I fear, are settling for mediocrity in their marriages, families and their personal lives.

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