Right Where I Am: Finding Treasure In the Ache

“Will I ever find Mr. Right?”

“Why can’t my husband and I get pregnant?”

“Why am I still unemployed?”

“Why do I continue to battle with illness?”

“Why did I experience such a painful childhood?”

“Why did my marriage fail?”

Maybe you have uttered one of these questions—or another one entirely. I know I have. It started on a Saturday morning when I was twelve and spotted the suitcases by the door. My parents had an announcement to make; they were getting divorced. Minutes later, I lived in a single parent home.

Fast-forward twelve years and I was a happily married young woman trying to have a baby. Five years passed and I was still not pregnant, having endured several years of infertility tests and treatments. That fifth year I finally got pregnant, only to have a miscarriage in a hotel room after ministering at a women’s conference in Arkansas. Devastated and angry, I went home, unaware I would face an entire decade of childlessness.

In 2009, my husband Mark was riding his motorcycle on a country highway near our home. A girl ran a stop sign, and Mark t-boned the front of her truck going 55 mph. He broke twenty-three bones including his pelvis, both femurs, his knee, foot, many ribs, and his ankle. He is now the bionic man! Following his accident, he couldn’t find work for a year and a half.

Being the introspective artist that I am, it’s way too easy for me to analyze my life and identify every way it could be better. But guess where that’s left me? Plain miserable. I’m guessing you’ve experienced the same result.

We don’t often like to hear it, but the fact is we can find something to be grateful for in every situation. At times it feels like a treasure hunt . . .

For me, my parent’s divorce thrust me right into the arms of my Abba Father. As a result, I spent hours at my piano, and this broken girl became a worshipper.

Through the agony of infertility, prior to our son Christian’s adoption, I grew to trust God’s good intention toward me in the face of disappointment. I experienced joy in my longing.

And following Mark’s accident, I discovered I am good at hiking, because the Lord gave me abundant grace to climb mountains tall and foreboding! I saw Him provide in spite of joblessness. And I was granted a song in the night.

Every day I have to ask the Lord to help me give thanks right where I am. I even have it written on a chalkboard in my kitchen as a reminder. I have found when I make the choice to cup my hands and drink of Him as the rain pours hard and heavy, my heart is
set free.

And so I have a gift for you. “Right Where I Am” is a song I wrote in the midst of my struggle toward thankfulness. You can download it here for free.

Tell me . . . in what area of your life do you find it most challenging to give thanks? And what treasure have you discovered in the midst of your ache? Leave your answer below and we’ll choose five of you at random on Monday, February 18 to receive a copy of my new CD, Take Heart.

Right Where I Am

I could tune my ear to a bitter song
Or choose hope’s melody
I could curse the ground that I’m standing on
Or pray for dancing feet
I could shout at Heaven when rain pours down
Pounding hard on me
Or I could cup my hands and drink of You
Whatever this life brings

            You are good, You are good
            Though I may not understand
            (I have come to trust Your hand)
            You are good, You are good
            I give thanks right where I am

I could count the cracks in my wounded soul
Or splash in healing oil
I could break down on this broken road
Or run through fields of joy
I could count the ways I wish my life
Had turned out differently
Or awaken to each gift of grace
This pain has helped me see

Today will never come again
These moments passing by
Packaged in my deepest ache
Are treasures in disguise
The sweetest gifts I’ve ever known
From Your tender hand
I could not have guessed they would have come
Come the way You planned

words & music by Shannon J. Wexelberg
c2012 Shanny Banny Music / BMI / International Copyright Secured
Used by permission.

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About the Author

Shannon Wexelberg

Shannon Wexelberg

Shannon Wexelberg is a mountain-loving, God-pursuing, Colorado-based songwriter, artist, worship leader, wife, and mom, who has a blazing passion for the Lord’s presence and for helping lead others there. Studying theology & worship, Shannon graduated from both Dallas Baptist University and Christ for the Nations. She has written and recorded six worship projects of her own, which can be found at ShannonWexelberg.com. While Shannon can often be found ministering around the U.S. and abroad (including leading worship for Revive our Hearts!), her favorite place to be is on the home-front with her husband Mark, her son Christian, and her two orange tabbies, nestled at the foot of the Rocky Mountains.

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