Our Male-Bashing Bible Study

The room was abuzz with energy and excitement. This was the week when our group would discuss chapter two in True Woman 101: Divine Design. In this chapter, Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Mary Kassian explain that being a man means:

  • taking initiative
  • protecting and providing
  • exercising godly leadership
  • taking responsibility.

It all started out so well as we affirmed these biblical truths. Yes, God did create men distinctly different from women. Yes, God did put within the heart of men a desire to initiate. Heads were nodding . . . and then there was a subtle shift in the conversation. I’m not sure exactly when it happened. But, before we knew it, we were immersed in “reality talk.”

“I know what the Lord intended, but my husband doesn’t____.”  

“Yes, and my son is so _______.”

“My father was not a protector and provider. As a matter of fact, he was ______.”

We began to—dare I say it—male-bash. Boy did we have tons of energy for this exercise! The endorphins kicked in, and we were off to the races. Our words revealed what was in our hearts: anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, pride, and self-righteousness.

But as we continued our discussion, we came to realize that our sin (pride, bitterness, etc.) stacked next to the guys sin (irresponsibility, dishonesty, etc.), just showed we were all messed up and in need of God’s grace. In that moment, we suddenly saw ourselves through the eyes of a merciful Savior. We desperately needed the same repentance and cleansing that the men in our lives needed.

So we agreed that rather than using our time and energy to lament the areas of deficiency in our men, we want to instead focus on our own heart issues. We will seek to become encouragers and will be thankful for the men God has placed in our lives: fathers, uncles, husbands, sons, sons-in-law, grandsons—all masterfully created in the very image of God. We will pray that God builds them into strong, godly leaders, protecting and providing for their families as they image Christ’s love for the church. We will also pray for grace to see our own fallenness as readily as we see theirs.

How about you? Do you ever find yourself thinking and speaking ill of the men in your life? Why do we have so much energy behind this exercise? How can we encourage one another to speak well of our men?

God, grant us grace to be builders and not destroyers: “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down” (Prov. 14:1).

Did you discover God’s Truth today?

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About the Author

Karen Waddles

Karen Waddles

Karen is assistant to the publisher at Moody Publishers, a conference speaker, and contributing author to Our Voices: Issues Facing Black Women in America and The Women of Color Study Bible. She and her husband, George, who has been a pastor for the past 35 years, have four grown children and nine grandchildren. Her greatest joy is seeing women experience the fruit of God's blessings when they apply the principles of biblical womanhood to their lives.

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