On Doormats, Brain Trashing, and Blow-Up Dolls

I get a big kick out of the comments floating around the blogosphere written by women who are astonished that anyone living in this day and age could possibly believe in the Bible’s directives for a Christian wife to cultivate a submissive spirit toward her husband. They conclude that the only people who would promote such an outrageous, horribly outdated notion are selfish, abusive, boorish men; or terribly misguided women who are passive, docile, and slightly brain-dead . . . a few bulbs short of a chandelier, so to speak.

I cut, pasted, and saved a few choice comments. Here’s a sampling:

[The True Woman manifesto is] a recipe for turning God’s beautiful, intelligent, and capable female creations into doormats. [It encourages] all women to be mindless, passive, incapable blow-up dolls doomed to a 1950s TV situation comedy existence in the suburbs.

Women are not doormats, punching bags, sex toys, cooktops, or washing machines. We are individuals with a brain and any woman who follows this advice has lost her mind. And being an atheist women (sic) with a brain, I can seperate (sic) fact from fiction and manure from the roses.

Any woman that would cow to such treatment has VERY low, if not worthless, self esteem issues, and should seek mental health professionals, IMMEDIATELY!!! Any husband who treats his wife as such, is not a MAN, but a selfish, emotionally-stunted-in-development, intellectually-challenged, CHILD, fixated on ego-massaging gratification, manifested in control, and domination over others—in fewer words—a real Loser!

It’s a common perception that women who believe in submission are either doormats or stupid. But I’ve believed in submission for a very long time, and I am neither. I’m a strong, opinionated, thinking woman. If you asked my friends and family to describe me, I would bet that “door mat” and “stupid” wouldn‘t appear on their lists. Forgetful, maybe (I can’t count the number of times that I’ve walked the parking lot aisles trying to remember where I left my car), but definitely not stupid.

When it comes down to it, I believe that living out biblical submission in this culture requires far more backbone and brains than acquiescing to popular reason. It’s one of the most radical, courageous, and intelligent things a Christian woman can do. Those who think that submission requires passivity, or women flicking their “brain-off” switch, simply don’t understand what biblical authority and submission are all about.

Do you agree? Do you think submission requires backbone and brains? Or do you think submissive women are like doormats and blow-up dolls? Explain why.

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About the Author

Mary Kassian

Mary Kassian

Mary Kassian is an award-winning author, an internationally-renowned speaker, and a frequent guest on Revive Our Hearts. She has written more than a dozen books and Bible studies, including Conversation Peace, Girls Gone Wise in a World Gone Wild, and The Right Kind of Strong.

Mary and her husband, Brent, have three sons and six grandchildren and live in Alberta, Canada. The Kassians enjoy biking, hiking, snorkeling, music, board games, mountains, campfires, and their family’s black lab, General Beau.

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