Don't Just Wish This Valentine's Day Away . . . Pray.

On the Saturday afternoon before Valentine's in 2012, I joined a group of women from more than seven churches in the D.C. area to pray for many things: new marriages, restoration of current marriages, the discipleship of men in our churches, repentance in ourselves, and much more. This meeting was just one part of the "fast.pray" movement that my friend and fellow author, Connally Gilliam, started as a response to the bewildering issue of unintended singleness. She and her co-leaders intentionally picked the Saturday before Valentine's Day to organize this prayer time.

To enter into a spiritual discipline of fasting and prayer is to bring our hearts and hand Him the keys.

As we gathered in a cozy room with a warm fireplace and multiple windows to watch the swirling snow, Connally held up a piece of paper with about a dozen men's images on it—men who had committed to intercede for the women gathered that day, as well as for the fast and pray movement itself. These men have various leadership roles in area churches and ministries, and they sent encouraging messages about the importance of our prayer time. Knowing that men were also praying with us—brothers seeking God's wisdom and favor—was compelling to me.

So we prayed. We waited on God, silently listening as He searched our hearts, inspiring confession and prompting intercession. While we did ask for marriage ourselves (the initial reason for drawing this group together), the focus of our prayers was broader than that single request. As one of the women posted that week on the weekly fast.pray blog, praying boldly and expectantly is the point.

Sometimes when I tell people about this group, I get the sense they think I spend every Monday lunch break asking God to please bring me a husband . . . oh, and one for a few of my friends, too. Of course, I've always had some underlying hope along those lines, but I knew going into this rhythm of fasting and prayer that I didn't have control of the agenda. To enter into a spiritual discipline like this is to bring our hearts and hand Him the keys.

God can create something from what seems like nothing.

Thus, in the many years (I've lost count!) I've been fasting and praying with my friends, my focus has shifted away from me and my disappointments and much more toward others. And not just those who long for marriage, but men. In the last year I've prayed particularly that men would reach their potential and become who they were created to be (whatever that does or does not mean for their relational lives). One encouragement in this has been an old fast.pray meditation on Ezekiel 37, about how God had Ezekiel prophesy over a valley of dry bones that He transformed into people. That post has been a persistent reminder that God can create something from what seems like nothing.

Praying for others not only takes the focus off of ourselves, it opens our eyes to what God is doing in our midst. It invites us to step into someone else's shoes and consider their needs and perspectives, instead of jumping to conclusions. Most importantly, it draws us into the reality of our lives together in eternity. While most people will experience the gift of marriage in this life, everyone who trusts Jesus for salvation enters eternity alone. Marriage is for this life only. But life eternal is an unbroken bond of love and fellowship with our Savior and with everyone He has rescued. No longer will the stain of sin break apart our relationships. We will truly love each other as brothers and sisters, with the soul-expanding love that is possible only through the Lamb of God.

If you have Jesus, you have all the love you need for yourself and to share with others.

As Jesus prepared His disciples for Calvary, He fed them, taught them, and then washed their feet to demonstrate His divine humility. Then He summed up His ministry for them:

"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another" (John 13:34-35).

Single or married, we can love one another. Especially in prayer. Let not this holiday, which celebrates the good gift of romantic love, make anyone feel cheated. Whether you are single today or not, whether your marriage is blooming or struggling, whether you have shiny happy plans to celebrate or not—if you have Jesus, you have all the love you need for yourself and to share with others. Therefore, praying for one another is both the least and the most you can do for someone else. Prayer is one of the ways we love one another . . . and it is the Valentine you can give to everyone you know.

Used by permission of the author. This article originally appeared on Radical Womanhood.

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About the Author

Carolyn McCulley

Carolyn McCulley

In 2009, Carolyn started Citygate Films, a documentary film company where she is a producer/director. Prior to that, Carolyn served as the media specialist for Sovereign Grace Ministries, worked in corporate communications, and was a television and commercial film producer. She is a frequent conference speaker and has authored several books.


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