A Peek into Nancy’s Journals

Yesterday we talked about a memorable way to discern God’s will. Today, learn from a real-life example as you read a few excerpts from Nancy Leigh DeMoss’ journals and see how the Lord led her in the process leading up to the beginning of Revive Our Hearts radio. (Thanks for agreeing to share these excerpts with us, Nancy. You’re the best!)

If you’re interested in more from Nancy’s journals, you can download the content here, or get “Up Close & Personal: A Conversation with Nancy Leigh DeMoss” for just $3 for shipping and handling! This twenty-page booklet includes excerpts from her journal as she fasted, prayed, and searched the Scripture for direction; as well as a personal Q&A with her on the occasion of the tenth anniversary of Revive Our Hearts

September 17, 1997

“One man of you shall chase a thousand: for the LORD your God is He who fights for you, as He promised you” (Josh. 23:10 NKJV).

This word gives faith to my heart, as I have been contemplating the possibility that God might want me to become more engaged in confronting the influence of feminism by promoting a biblical view of womanhood. I have felt that to do so would be to spend the rest of my life in the “lions’ den”--and to take on a battle that there is no hope of winning--the enemy has done such a masterful and thorough job of deception and devastation.

But I am reminded of numerous situations in which God placed His children in a position where they were hopelessly outnumbered--that He might show them that “the battle is the Lord’s.” If this is a battle of His choosing for me, then He will fight for me, He will conquer the unconquerable, He will cause the walls of Jericho to fall, He will defeat the enemy, no matter how numerous or deeply entrenched they may be.

December 2, 1999

Two days ago, I met with the FamilyLife team in Little Rock to discuss the possibility of launching a radio program for women. This thought has been simmering in my heart for the past couple years, and I sense the Lord is now pressing me to give it more serious consideration.

Yesterday I felt prompted to begin a twenty-one-day fast, as the Lord enables, to seek Him on this matter. My mind and heart are flooded with a multitude of thoughts as I contemplate this challenge. I feel a bit like Moses at the burning bush, telling God all the reasons I am not qualified to fulfill His call and fervently hoping He will raise up someone else for the task!

Interestingly, like Moses, when I was half the age I am now, I had all kinds of aspirations and self-confidence. But now, when it may be God’s timing to thrust me out, I am filled with reservations and reticent to step out.

I am torn between that lifelong vision of 1 Corinthians 7—the call as a single woman to wholehearted, reckless abandon to the will of God—and my natural longings for “normalcy,” security, and a private life of my own.

This undertaking would require:

• faith (lots of it!)
• dependence
• discipline
• God--His calling, enabling, undergirding
• launching out into the deep
• perseverance/endurance
• sacrifice

I must know You are the One calling. And then, You must give me grace to say, “Yes, Lord.”

“Send me anywhere, Lord;
only go with me.
Lay any burden on me;
only sustain me.
And sever every tie, but the time
that binds me to Thy service and Thy heart.” (David Livingstone)

April 16, 2000

For the first time today (after months of prayer and waiting on the Lord), I sense that He is giving me the freedom to pursue developing a radio ministry. There has been released within me this morning a flood of ideas in relation to format, approach, etc., as well as peace and confidence that He can enable me to do what has seemed like a virtually impossible task (and it is, apart from Him). He is giving faith and a clear-cut burden to reach women in this way.

The passage on Apollos in Acts 18:24–28 has been my first biblical “light” on the matter. Among other things that spoke to me in that passage, is Apollos’ “mission statement”: “[He] helped them much which had believed through grace” (v. 27). How I long to come alongside women who “have believed,” and help them in their walk with God.

I have no illusions about this being easy or pain-free. To the contrary, I expect to be challenged and stretched beyond anything I have experienced in ministry to this point.

I will continue to wait on the Lord to confirm His leading through the Scripture, through godly counsel, and through the unfolding of circumstances.

Show me Your ways, O Lord;
Teach me Your paths.
Guide me in Your truth,
and teach me.
For You are God my Savior,
and my hope is in You all day long.
(Ps. 25:4-5)

May 13, 2000

“One man of you shall chase a thousand, for the LORD your God is He who fights for you, as He promised you. Therefore take careful heed to yourselves, that you love the LORD your God.” (Josh. 23:10–11).

Lord, I want to live in the realm of the supernatural--to walk and wage war by faith. I am one very small, weak, foolish, struggling, limited, wavering woman. But You are a great God. Nothing is too difficult for You. Fill me with Your Spirit and use me for Your purposes and glory.

My part is to love You, cleave to You, obey You, listen to You, follow You, and be wholly available to You. Your part is to fight and win the battles. May I not “limit” You by unbelief or by a heart that turns aside from following You.

May 27, 2000

Day twenty-nine of a forty-day fast. Am seeking the Lord for direction in relation to major ministry decisions, including the possibility of launching a radio program for women.

My heart is at rest in Him; yet I feel pressed to inquire of Him. I have so many questions and “unknowns.” (Yet all is known to Him.)

I know my highest/supreme/unchanging calling is to walk with God, to love Him with all my heart, and to be conformed to the image of His Son. Beyond that, I need direction in relation to the “good works He has prepared beforehand that I should walk in them.”

Through the process of these past months, God has worked in my heart to make me willing to be used in this way (no small achievement!) and to instill faith in my heart that He can do this through me, in spite of my still-strong sense of inadequacy and inability.

As I have prayed so many times over the years, I continue to pray:

Lead me, O LORD, in your righteousness . . .
make your way straight before me.

Send out your light and your truth;
let them lead me. (Ps. 5:8; 43:3)

I drove down to the lake tonight to read, pray, watch the sunset, etc. Through all of my Christian life, I have known His calling: to launch out into the deep; to walk by faith; to make His wonders, His beauty, His glories known, to the fullest extent possible—to the ends of the earth.

As best as I can hear the Shepherd’s voice, I feel I need to move in this direction—to develop demos and have them evaluated by spiritually discerning Christian leaders and radio industry leaders—to give God the opportunity to show that He is or is not in this.

Did you discover God’s Truth today?

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About the Author

Paula Marsteller

Paula Marsteller

Paula has served with Revive Our Hearts for thirteen years. She is the author of Confessions of a Boy-Crazy Girl: On Her Journey from Neediness to Freedom. There's nothing she loves to share more than the gospel-centered truths that have so transformed her own life: what it means on a daily basis to be "dead to sin, alive to God, and in Christ Jesus." Paula, Trevor, and their son, Iren, make their home in New York.