Go Away Vultures

Laura Booz: Several years ago, when our lives were full to the brim with work, ministry, and caring for our wonderful bunch of kiddos; my husband Ryan and I needed to connect. I mean, it is difficult to find time to connect, you know? We had heard from some friends that when you can’t get out, you can create a date night in. 

So, we tucked the babies in bed, and we decided to park the pickup truck in the front yard to watch the sunset. We loaded it up with pillows, and blankets, and snacks, and we laid on our backs and looked up at the twilight. 

Ah . . . peace and quiet.

But as we began to talk and catch up with one another, we saw two or three large birds fly by. A few minutes they flew back in the other direction. Then they crossed a third time and started to soar in concentric circles overhead. 

We laid there and watched them flying around and around. I think it dawned on us at the same time . . . they were vultures. They were vultures! They thought we were dead. Needless to say, nothing puts a damper on a romantic date night in like a flock of vultures. 

Hi there, you’re listening to Expect Something Beautiful. I hope today’s episode reassures you that God can do anything! With God nothing is impossible. He is at work in our lives to revive the things we think are dead and to help us to thrive. 

I actually remember a time when our marriage itself resembled this scene. It appeared lifeless and theoretical birds of prey were circling overhead. We were newlyweds at the time—young, cute, and romantic on the surface, but nearly dead on the inside. 

Both of us came into marriage with baggage and heartache that required good counsel and patience and wisdom to heal.

So in the meantime, we lied to each other, we were jealous, and easily offended. We fought. We faced some significant challenges, like infertility. And when we did get pregnant, I went into preterm labor and was on bedrest. Then our daughter was born early. She was so precious, and we loved her so much, but it took everything we had to care for her. We were exhausted and isolated, and just when we were at our weakest, temptation came our way. 

By the time our baby could say “Mama” and “Dada,” our marriage was in critical condition, and we separated. 

Friends and family surrounded us. A few dear friends met with Ryan. A few dear friends met with me. Oh, they prayed for us, and they counseled us according to God’s Word. Over time, God worked mightily in our hearts—to the extent that we were willing to repent of our sin and to forgive one another and to ask God to give us another chance.

Forty days later, we were reunited. We have a photograph of ourselves from that day, sitting next to each other on the couch with our baby on our laps, smiling and grateful.

We were just so caught up in the amazing truth that Jesus had died on the cross and rose from the grave so our marriage could flourish. We just wanted to trust Him with everything and obey His Word down to the letter. We saw Matthew 19:6 come to fruition. That verse says, 

"Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh"? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate. (vv. 5–6)

Our marriage was not dead; it was alive, and God was working deep down in the hidden places of our hearts to take something that was almost dead and revive it, to heal us, and comfort, convict, train, and strengthen and nurture two independent sinful people and make us one—one unified, living flesh. 

He taught us how to stay together in the trials and how to overcome the temptation. Although formerly our marriage had resembled something lifeless, something that vultures would encircle and attack. Now, God was making it vibrant and strong. 

This translated into specific decisions we had to make in our daily lives. For example, we committed to a local church and began meeting regularly with friends who would pray for us and encourage us in God’s Word. 

Go away vultures. 

We addressed old habits of thought and conversation, and we asked God to heal our baggage and our heartache. 

Go away vultures. 

We read together. Prayed for one another. Went to bed at the same time. We fiercely protected our eyes and ears and hearts by installing accountability software on our devices and pursuing life-giving media. Both of us made significant career sacrifices, recreational sacrifices, relational sacrifices, because if an opportunity was not beneficial to our living marriage, we said “no.” It was hard but it was worth it. 

Go away vultures. 

We learned to be kind to one another, to respect one another. And when we didn’t, we learned to repent and say “I’m sorry” and “I forgive you.” We prayed, “Do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil.” 

Go away vultures. 

Over the years, we’ve learned to focus on one another. Our marriage has taken more time, commitment, and energy than either of us have ever anticipated, but it has been a gift from God, and we wouldn’t change it for the world. Because day one of our restoration turned into day two, which turned into day three, and four, and five. 

And as the days passed, God renewed our hearts and minds. He blessed our living marriage with five more children and helped us comfort one another after losing a daughter to stillbirth. He helped us make decisions together as we moved houses, adjusted to new employers, worked on our budget, choose health insurance plans.

In our living marriage we homeschooled our children, raised chickens and honey bees and tomato plants. We’ve served at our local church and reached out to our community. We’ve rejoiced with each other through health kicks and vacations and big lifetime accomplishments. We’ve supported each other through sickness and surgeries and depression. We are a continual work in progress, but we can see what God is up to, and it’s amazing. 

This summer we are celebrating our twenty-year anniversary. Oh, you better believe that we will hold each other close, as on every anniversary we will say, “Can you believe what God has joined together?”

There we were, date night in, laying on our backs in the pickup truck, vultures circling overhead, and wondering when they could descend. We just looked at each other and smiled, and then we jumped to our feet, waved our arms, and yelled, “We’re alive! We’re alive! We’re alive!”

I need to tell you that one of the most significant things I did during our process of restoration and then the following years was the 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge through Revive Our Hearts. I recommend it all of the time to women who are wondering how they can participate in and enjoy God’s good work in their marriage. 

You can find it by going to ReviveOurHearts.com and signing up for the 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge. Every day of the challenge you’ll receive an email with a Scripture verse, a short devotional from one of our Revive Our Hearts staff members or bloggers, and reflection questions, all designed to help you plant seeds of grace and encouragement in your relationship with your husband. Again that’s ReviveOurHearts.com.

And of course, I hope you’ll visit me at my blog LauraBooz.com where I write about marriage, motherhood, and all kinds of other topics. I would love for you to reach out and introduce yourself. And while you’re at it, could you give me your best date night in idea? We could really use one. 

Expect Something Beautiful is a production of Revive Our Hearts calling women to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ.