A Linear Conversation

Laura Booz: My childhood friend came to visit. She brought her husband and her children, and they stayed with us. The weekend was full of good memories and laughter, and of course, all of the hub bub that comes with kids and toys and meal times and nap times. 

And even though she and I wanted to catch each other up on our lives, our conversations were sporadic and often interrupted. I don’t even know if we finished a thought, let alone a sentence. 

You would have heard a whole lot of things like, “Ooo hold that thought,” and “I’ll get back to you on that,” and “Wait a minute, what were we talking about?”

Well, at the end of the weekend, we tucked those babies in bed and our husbands stood guard as Carrie and I escaped off to a coffee shop. 

It was so nice to sit down in the peace and quiet of that coffee shop, face to face, and have a nice long linear conversation. To ask questions, answer questions, finish a sentence. Oh, it was divine. I don’t even remember what lovely herbal tea I decided upon, because that conversation warmed my soul. 

Toward the end of the evening, Carrie turned to me and said, “You know, I have one more question. You seem to really love your friends here. I find that it’s so difficult to make friends in the city where I live, especially, now that I’m a mom. How do you build that type of relationship?”

And just like that, this passionate answer bubbled right out of me. And I said, “Oh, it’s true, I do love my friends.” 

Now, I am grateful for friends from all walks of life, but I knew Carrie was referring to a specific group of friends, a community of friends who happened to share my faith in Christ. And I said, “Maybe it’s because we worship the same God. We know His character and His ways, and together we value Him over everything else. And well, we submit to the same book. So, no matter what we may be going through, or where the conversation may take us, we know we will bring each other back to the same truths, the same instructions, the same promises, and the same Savior. This makes for very good friendships.”

A couple of days later, once Carrie returned home and got the laundry done and the kids back to school, she reached out and said that she was thinking about my answer and taking it seriously. And I was too. Because, I noticed a couple of things about it. First, I noticed the difference between friendship and sisterhood. 

What Carrie was really asking about and what I was referring to in my answer was the family of God. Being sisters in Christ is different than being friends. Throughout Scripture, the Church is described as a family. God is the Father, Jesus is the firstborn, and believers are sons and daughters, brothers and sisters in Christ.

This is a family we receive with our salvation. When we hear the gospel, confess our sins, and place our faith in Jesus, we are at that moment, born into this family. Adopted as God’s children, and we become coheirs with Christ for eternity. 

The old quip that you can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family is certainly true of the family of God. God has chosen our brothers and sisters for us. And He has chosen us for them. 

As we study Scripture we can learn so much about our family tree, our family history, our family vision statement, our family ways, and our family legacy. Sisterhood is a gift from God, wrapped up with our salvation. And the Christian life, well, it’s a discovery of what a gift it is.

As I reflected on my answer to Carrie, I also noticed how quickly the answer just bubbled right up and yet, I knew getting to that point had been a day by day, year by year, long and gradual growth in relationships. 

My answer to Carrie was just a quick thirty- second summary, but underneath was a long tapestry of people, brothers and sisters in Christ, whose lives have been woven into mine.

Right away, I started thinking of specific people: Susie and Lou, Maggie and Ben, Betty, Jessie, John, Cheryl, Sasha, believers young and old alike, standing side by side in our sanctuary, worshiping the Lord together in song, each Sunday. Confessing our sin, hearing the assurance of God’s forgiveness, learning of God’s Word, and tasting the bread and wine, remembering Jesus. 

Our worship services sustain my faith and give me strength for the week ahead. And I love that it comes with all of the stuff of life, built around our community. Our coming and going, for us coming every Sunday morning. I picture us holding the door open for one another, with the awkward hellos and the warm hellos, there we are all sharing the same space. All caught up in the hustle and bustle of getting situated and filling cups of coffee. Of bulletins exchanging hands for sermon notes and grocery lists scribbled in the margins, to be folded into fans and paper airplanes. 

There we are in the hallways and in the bathrooms washing our hands side by side, chatting while one mom changes her baby on the changing table, while three little girls come in together looking under the door stalls, searching for feet. 

I think of all of our unfinished conversations of hair and catching up and getting to know you, all on a Sunday morning in the coming and going, every seven days. 

The “How are your kids?” and “Do you have somewhere to celebrate Thanksgiving?” And digging into your purse the book that, “I borrowed this from you two years ago, and I am finally returning it.” And also wrapping an arm around another and asking, “How’s your mom doing after her surgery this week?”

And hailing someone down and asking, “Are you available to sub for my Sunday school class in two weeks?” The interrupted conversations, you know the ones where you’re talking to the one person and then suddenly, you’re talking to another person, and you have no idea how the one conversation ended and how the other one began. Or you’re mid-sentence, and suddenly you’re pulled away by a child who needs your help somewhere, somehow. 

And gathering all of your things, or most of your things, and getting out the door for lunch. Maybe, even giving directions to your house as you invite someone new over for lunch. I love those Sunday mornings, every seven days, week after week, year after year. 

In the mix, we grow to see and know and love one another, people we maybe wouldn’t be naturally inclined to talk with or sit next to or sing aloud with. But there they are, in the family of God, our brothers and sisters. We see one another at our best, and we see one another at our not so best. We have awkward conversations. We don’t know what to say. We stall out. We ask a bad question. We say something funny, awkward, or embarrassing, and yet we come back and we offer grace, and we smile, and we keep going every seven days. 

There we are meeting together, week after week, year after year, and the fabric of sisterhood becomes so strong when it’s woven in with prayer. Praying over the phone for one another, or side by side at the park, wrapping one arm around your friend and raising the other arm in prayer asking Jesus to redeem the story. 

Gathering in small groups in classrooms to pray. In the back of the sanctuary lifting up families and youth, the community and government, lifting up one another that we would be free and full and fruitful in Christ. 

Our sisterhood grows strong when we comfort one another. When we file in and sit close to one another at a funeral for a church member, or a church member’s parent, or a church member’s child. 

Sisterhood goes deep when we bring side dishes to bridal showers, for the young woman who used to be a little girl in our Sunday school class, but now she’s all grown up and lovely and strong. 

And sisterhood goes deep when we find a seat at the baby shower for a new mom, who is making room for her first child. Or a mom who is welcoming her 3rd or 4th or 5th. Opening her heart to a foster child, or adopting a child. The room just full of excitement and stories and good wishes of good will. 

Sisterhood runs deep when we study God’ Word together. When we take the risk of offering an insight about a text only to hear another sister disagree or offer something entirely different and both return to the text to see what is truly there. We talk it out, and we learn and wonder.

And sisterhood grows as we show grace to one another. Grace for our idiosyncrasies and weaknesses and differences and sin. 

It grows when we show appreciation and joy over one another’s strengths and glories and contributions. And we cheer one another on in the work God gives us to do, when we link arms and serve side by side. 

This is just the local church, but our family extends around the world, and throughout time. I mean how amazing is it when we meet a person from another city or country whom we have nothing else in common? Perhaps we don’t even share the same currency or language, and yet, our faith in Christ connects us. 

We have a communion with one another that runs deeper than all of our differences. It’s incredible, and yet this unifying power on earth is nothing compared to the day we are all looking forward to, when we gather as brothers and sisters around the throne of God—everybody together home at last.

I think about my sisters, these people who have stuck by me, people who have forgiven me, people who have kept coming back, people who have chosen a lifestyle grounded in Hebrews 10:24: “Stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”

Sisters, who agree with me that there is no friend like Jesus. 

Jesus, who sticks closer than a brother, who sticks closer than a sister, who is with us in every relationship and every situation. 

Jesus, who helps us to put away childish thoughts and to think like grown women and think more like Him. 

Jesus, who helps us remember that we are not the center of the universe.

He helps us to remember to listen to one another, to give and receive encouragement, to give and to receive practical help. 

Jesus, who gives us endurance and patience, who helps us to show compassion, and grow in humility, and who reminds us the importance of respect. 

Jesus, who teaches us to believe the best and speak the truth in love, to repent and to apologize and to accept apologies and to forgive, and to keep the relationships going week after week and year after year. 

After many years in the household of faith, I can say that my brothers and sisters are essential to my life as a Christian. And as it turns out, they are one of the most profound evidences of God’s grace in my life. They are one thing I can point to with confidence when someone asks for the hope I have in Christ. 

Do I love my friends? Oh yes, I do. Do I love my brothers and sisters in Christ? Oh yes, I do. And I love that our place in the family of God is not an incomplete thought, it’s not interrupted. It doesn’t just come to God’s mind once in a while, but it’s something He’s been talking about since the beginning. 

In the Garden with Adam and Eve, it’s what He was talking to Abraham about. As, He brought him outside to look up at the starry sky and as Rich Mullins sang, perhaps one of those stars has been lit for me and you.

God has been talking about His family since the beginning. He’s been talking about it all along. It is one long, robust, linear conversation, full of passion for His people. 

Oh heavenly Father, I pray for the person listening to see anew this gift of sisterhood that You give to us through Christ. May we embrace it, and live in such a way as to see those relationships grow. Amen. 

If you want to grow as a sister in Christ, I have two suggestions for what you may do next. First, I encourage you to find a local church—a wonderful local church where the people love Jesus and God’s Word and love one another. Then take one big, giant step in with a generous heart, with humility, and see what Jesus might do through those relationships.

Another way that you can grow as a sister in Christ is by getting to know the Revive Our Hearts community. Did you know that you are one of thousands of women from around the world who loves Revive Our Hearts content. And you can connect with these women by looking for Revive Our Hearts on your favorite social media app. 

Better yet, I suggest you connect with your local Revive Our Hearts ambassador, and she will help you meet like-minded women in your community who share your love for the Lord. You can find out more information at ReviveOurHearts.com/ambassador.

Expect Something Beautiful is a production of Revive Our Hearts calling women to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ.