A Better Escape

Laura Booz: My friend says that when she was in labor, she was so delirious from the pain, that she asked the nurse for a Motrin—a Motrin. She said the nurse’s response was comical, because let’s admit it, labor is a little outside the wheelhouse of a Motrin. 

We laugh about it now, but at the time, I mean I can understand how it seems like a perfectly reasonable solution. 

Of course, now I want to share my own story about when I was in labor, delirious from pain, and I was convinced that the only way to get relief from the intense suffering while protecting my baby was for the doctors to . . . well . . . how do I say this delicately? To remove my head.

Yes, you can laugh, but at the time it seemed like a perfectly reasonable solution to the problem. I was desperate for relief. And my over-tucked brain was simply trying to point out, “Hey, you’re suffering; you need an escape.” But the place that was proposed was drastically flawed. 

Well, you’ll be glad to know that I didn’t have the strength to even offer this suggestion to the doctors, who as it turns out had a much more reasonable plan to help me get through. I am very glad I surrendered to their wisdom, because not long after the worst of the worst, there I was safe and sound, holding my beautiful baby in my arms. All was well. 

Hi. You’re listening to Expect Something Beautiful with Laura Booz. Just everyday Laura Booz. I am not a counselor or a medical professional. I am just a person sharing stories from my little corner of the world, and connecting them with God’s Word. I hope you remember that as we listen to my podcast, especially today. 

If this episode resonates with you, or stirs something up, I encourage you to talk to a friend or a counselor or a medical professional who can help you take a positive step forward. 

Sometimes, I experience unwanted thoughts about death, not unlike my thoughts during labor and delivery, but far less dramatic, more subtle, more complex. And maybe not even what you would expect. 

Sometimes, those thoughts appear out of nowhere and barrel through my mind like a freight train, and suddenly I must deal with images and ideas that I didn’t want to think about in the first place. 

Sometimes my mind suggests solutions to problems that are not compatible with God’s Word, and they don’t reflect His love and design for me. 

These thoughts about death come to mind most often when I am suffering. Maybe physically, as in labor, but also relationally or emotionally or spiritually. I find that my raw unfiltered, unhelpful thoughts about death are based on two misconceptions. 

On one hand I seem to have a deep fear of death, as if it’s the ultimate power. The ultimate enemy who will win no matter how fervently I try to avoid it, and I hate it. I hate death. As I see its gruesome effects on humanity, I hate it as it seems to contaminate and overtake everything good and true and beautiful. It’s hard to be a force for good, when you’ll just be pushed back and destroyed anyway. 

So on one hand, I see death as the enemy against whom I cannot prevail, and who may sneak up and steal something precious from me at any moment. 

But you know, I have to admit on the other hand, my unwanted thoughts about death seemed to be based on the belief that death is the ultimate way out of struggle. As if in moments of difficulty I believe death is the best possible solution. I’m hoping in some way or another it will save the day. 

It won’t of course, I know, but it’s a false belief that maybe most of us could find hiding behind the surface of our everyday thought lives. 

It’s ironic, right? That death would be our greatest fear but also our only hope. It’s worse than ironic; it’s sad, and it’s tragic. It’s heartbreaking, and yet throughout all of history most of humanity has grappled with these two conflicting aspects of death, without the power to change one single thing about it. 

This makes me think of the people who were gathered before Pilate who on one hand were terrified of death, but on the other hand were hoping that death would end the conflict they felt about a man named Jesus. They begged Pilate to crucify Him. 

Surely death would stop this Jesus from confusing them about their religion. Surely death would stop Jesus of convicting them of their sin and surprising them with grace and healing them with God-like power they couldn’t understand. 

Soldiers whipped Jesus, nailed Him to the cross. They thrust a spear into His side, to verify He was dead. They removed His body from the cross and sealed it in tomb. And then they stood guard. 

I imagine them there with arms crossed, chests puffed, confident in death’s final victory. While secretly terrified, about the moment it would come for them too. 

But death did not win. Death did not save the day. Death did not provide escape for Pilate or Barabbas or the religious leaders or the crowds of people or the soldiers or the guards. Death did not make everything better. Death did not make anything better. 

God made everything better when He raised Jesus from the grave. 

In the moment when Jesus returned to His body and breathed again, God defeated death once and for all. 

He had promised He would do it. He orchestrated all of history to do it, and He did it. When Jesus rose from the grave, God was showing us His incomparable power over death. 

Romans 5:8–10 says: 

But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life.More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.

I want you to imagine the resurrected Christ standing before you in all His glory. Imagine God saying, 

“This Man comforts you when you are suffering.
This Man gives you strength to endure hardship.
This Man gives you courage in the face of fear.
This Man gives you wisdom when you don’t know what to do.
This Man holds your life in His hands, not to snuff it out but to fan it into flame. To transform you from glory unto glory.
This Man is your escape from sin.
This Man is your way out of sorrow. He is your way up. Your way in. Your way back.
This Man is your true thought, your best thought by day or by night.
This Man is your life.”

God doesn’t want us to be afraid of death, and He certainly doesn’t want us to put our hope in death. Because every time we do, we miss out on the joy of pressing in and knowing Christ better. We miss out on relying on His promise to take our ashes and turn them into a reason to dance. To make dry bones live. To walk with us every step of the way through the valley of the shadow of death into life eternal. 

Okay, so the application of these truths will look different for each of us, but here’s what it looks like for me sometimes, when I recognize a death glorifying thought, I take it seriously. I see it as a warning light, indicating that something is wrong. Like my sinful limited brain is trying to offer me some kind of solution or warning and it comes up with death as the ultimate thought. 

Well, I ask the Lord to help me figure out why, why did this come to mind? And to help me identify the lies I am believing, and to replace them with the truth of His Word. 

Oftentimes, this helps me identify things that I need to bring to Him in prayer, so I pour my heart out to Him, and I ask Him to comfort and to strengthen me through His Spirit. I asked Him to help me through people, through my husband, through my dear friends, pastors, a doctor, a counselor. I follow Him through the learning process. I tune into conversations and sermons and songs and books and podcasts and Instagram posts, any little thing that helps me fight those lies with the powerful truth of His life-giving Word. 

So here’s the thing, you and I are not led by our limited human brains, even when they are suggesting an escape. You and I are led by the Spirit of God. So we can take our brain’s feedback and its best idea and we say “thank you,” and we submit it to the Lord. We submit it to the Word. We submit it to the Holy Spirit, who is leading us through the valley of the shadow of death one step at a time. Where we can properly grieve and sorrow the awfulness of death, but do it with great hope in our hearts.

Because of that hope we have in Christ, we can agree with the apostle Paul when he says, "To live is Christ and to die is gain." Only because until Christ returns, God simply uses death as a door, or a page turn, to rescue us from this sin-cursed existence and to welcome us into eternal glory.

You and I rest in God's decision on when that will be. In the meantime we receive the abundant life that Jesus purchased for us on the cross. I think by meditating on the truths like these, from Scripture, we can move beyond our unwanted thoughts about death and thoroughly engage in the precious life God has given us. I find that when I do I am able to engage in this precious life God has given me.

Oh before I leave you, I need recommend 1 Corinthians 15. The next time you have your Bible out, turn to 1 Corinthians 15. It is an entire chapter celebrating the truth and implications of Christ’s resurrection over death. It dismantles every misconception about death that often fuel our unwanted thoughts. Death is a thoroughly defeated enemy, and the Christian has no need to fear. 

After fifty-four rousing verses about Christ’s power over death, you’ll read the conclusion of the matter and here’s how it goes: 

Death is swallowed up in victory.
“O death, where is your victory?
 O death, where is your sting?”

The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.” (vv. 54–58)

Expect Something Beautiful is a production of Revive Our Hearts calling women to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ.