The Rewards of Modesty

Series: Modesty: Does God Really Care What I Wear?

Leslie Basham: Modesty needs to come from the inside out, not the outside in. Here's Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: The way that you dress outwardly is a reflection of your heart, but not always. You can have a heart that really is rebellious against God and be dressed extremely conservatively.

Leslie Basham: This is Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss for Friday, June 10th.

We can't know what's in a person's heart or fully know it based on their outward appearance. This does not contradict the call to modesty, rather it emphasizes it. As we've said before, modesty begins in the heart. Here's Nancy wrapping up a series called Modesty: Does God Really Care What I Wear?

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Well, as we've been talking about this whole matter of modesty, we've said some things that I hope have made you think, hope have challenged you. I think it's even possible there's probably someone I've made a little mad or uncomfortable by some of the things I've said.

Let me just emphasize that I am not the final authority. It's a dangerous thing for you to decide that Nancy Leigh DeMoss or anyone else you know is the ultimate authority on truth.

Everything that you hear from any human source you always need to take back to the Word of God. Take it to the Spirit of God and say, "Lord, teach me Your ways."

Be a Berean Christian; check these things out. I would just encourage you to be open, even if what we have said goes against the grain of everything you have ever thought or considered. You may be thinking: This woman is from another planet. Well, my citizenship, and yours, is not in this world. We don't fit here.

I can remember when we were growing up; it seemed like our family was always kind-of different than everyone else. We were just really a lot more conservative in most areas than pretty much everyone we knew.

As kids, when we would start to express that everyone else is doing--"whatever"-- I don't know how many times my parents actually said these words, but here's the idea that we caught: "You are not everyone's kids. You belong to the Lord." We came to see that was a privilege, a special calling.

Now, I want to give a few cautions, and then close with just sharing a list of blessings and benefits of choosing the pathway of modesty. But first, just a few cautions in this area. I want to speak to those who come at this issue with a very conservative viewpoint and to say that it is possible to have a very modest appearance outwardly and to have the heart of a Pharisee.

The way that will come out may be in terms of being critical or judgmental or self-righteous toward those who do not see things the way you do. Can I just remind you that people are coming from all different backgrounds? They are at all different phases and stages of their spiritual development.

The fact that you dress modestly or conservatively does not necessarily mean that you have a modest heart. It doesn't necessarily mean that you are more spiritual.

The way you dress outwardly is a reflection of your heart, but not always. You can have a heart that really is rebellious against God and be dressed extremely conservatively.

You can have a heart that is warm and tender toward God but be harsh and critical toward people who have not perhaps been trained or educated in some of these ways of thinking.

Give God room and time to work in the lives of other people. Don't be so arrogant as to say that just because I see it this way, that's the way it has to be or that I'm necessarily right in all of these things.

The Lord has challenged my thinking on these issues over the years. There are things that I will wear today that I didn't feel comfortable wearing 20 years ago and vice versa.

There are areas where I've come to feel that something I might have worn 20 years ago probably is not best for me, where God has me at this point. Remember, we are not the Holy Spirit.

Let God be the Holy Spirit; let Him do that job in people's lives. If you hold to these views highly and prize them as I do, the views of biblical modesty, ask God to help you communicate them to others in a way that is winsome.

I think some people look at Christian women . . . . In fact, I saw a video not that long ago of a woman teaching on this subject, and I agreed with virtually everything I heard her say. But I sat there thinking, "If I didn't already agree with this woman, I don't know that I would be drawn to her position because I just want to see her smile. I just want to see her say this warmly.

Now, she wasn't ugly about it. She wasn't harsh; she wasn't unkind. But she didn't look too happy about the fact that she found this blessing of modesty. It came across to my ears as something that might not be attractive or desirable to other Christian women who aren't quite where she is.

Now I found myself just looking and saying, "Would you just smile?" I'm telling the video this. But it reminded me that when we're saying things to people that are counter-cultural, we're challenging them to go against the current--that's hard. That takes courage. When we are speaking the truth, we need to do it with compassion, with love, and with a tender heart.

Listen, I don't want to just hammer on the culture; I could do that quite naturally. I tend to be one who sees things in terms of right and wrong, in clear-cut ways. So I found, as I was thinking on this subject of modesty, my first instinct was to say: "Go get the culture. It's wrong. We need to fight it." Then I realized that's probably not going to win the hearts of the people we are trying to reach.

So, I've been asking the Lord how can I communicate these principles in a way that is attractive, that adorns the Gospel and the message and the doctrine of Jesus Christ.

So, let God work in other people's lives as you communicate these truths--and we all need to communicate them--ask God to help you do it in a way that will make the truth as attractive as possible.

I believe that this is a beautiful truth, that modesty is something good, desirable, precious, and something that--if people knew how good it was-- they would really want.

Let me just close by giving you several reasons for modesty, some of the blessings and benefits of modesty. This is not an exhaustive list, but just several things that came to my mind as I was thinking about this a few days ago.

First of all, you have the blessing of knowing that you have been obedient to God. You can know that--when you are choosing the pathway of modesty--that you are pleasing Him. Choosing the pathway of modesty sets us free, I think, from being enslaved to fashion, to fads, and to other people's opinions.

I find so many women today, who think they are doing their own thing, are really just slaves to what other people think. They are slaves to their culture. So, to choose the pathway of modesty says: "I can be free from that."

Then,to choose the pathway of modesty in many cases will protect a woman from the wrong kind of guys, or from the wrong kind of attention from guys. To choose the pathway of modesty will give greater freedom and joy and pleasure in marriage.

I would especially say that to those of you gals who are single. You are not thinking now the way that you will be thinking five or ten or fifteen or whatever-it-is years from now, when you are wanting to have a meaningful, sexual, and intimate emotional relationship with your husband-to-be.

The choices you are making now in the area of modesty will, in time, provide greater freedom and joy and pleasure in marriage.

Then, to choose the pathway of modesty, I think, helps a young woman to attract the right kind of attention from the right kind of guys, not only protection from the wrong kind. You say, "Where are all these guys who love women to be modest? They don't seem to be in our youth group. They don't seem to be in our church or my school."

You know what, those kinds of guys are like the right kind of women. They are few and far-between, but they are out there. It's worth waiting for God's person, for God's time.

Listen, there only needs to be one. When you are 16, don't let it trouble you too much that the one isn't there yet. In God's time, in God's way, in God's will, if that is what God has for you, He will be. It's worth waiting for that right one.

Then, you'll find, as you choose the pathway of modesty, that you will be valued for more than your body, more than your physical characteristics.

You will be valued for eternal qualities, heart qualities, spiritual qualities, things that are enduring. Listen, that beautiful body is only going to last a short period of time, relatively. Beauty is fleeting, fading; but a woman who fears the Lord: she will be praised.

You will find, as you choose the pathway of modesty, that you are beautiful to God because He values that heart that is meek and quiet, that spirit that is gentle, that life that is spiritually rich.

You'll find that you will be secure in your identity in Christ. The more secure you are in your identity in Christ, the less you will find that you have to use your body to get attention for yourself.

As you choose the pathway of modesty, you will be able to point people to Jesus--just by the way you look, just by your spirit--you are going to make the Gospel believable.

Now, not everyone will appreciate that or be attracted to Christ, but your goal in life is to have people think Christ is wonderful. That's why you want to draw attention--through a modest spirit and modest dress and modest behavior--to your eyes (in the right sense), to your countenance that will reflect joy and peace and freedom and purity and humility.

These are the things that will point people to Jesus. As you do (point people to Jesus), the culture isn't going to control you. You are going to have a positive, godly influence on this culture that so desperately needs to know who Christ is, needs to know His Gospel.

So, as you are proclaiming Christ, remember that one of your most powerful instruments, one of your most powerful tools (the means of doing it) is through a heart and an appearance and a demeanor that are modest.

Leslie Basham: Have you ever thought through the importance of modesty, how it relates to the Gospel?

We hope that you'll take some time to study this issue further. In fact, we have developed a booklet to help you apply this week's teaching to your personal situation. It's called The Look and it will you ask a series of questions to help you examine your heart and your wardrobe. It provides a list of scriptures, so that you can see for yourself what the Bible has to say on this topic.

The booklet comes as part of a modesty packet which includes a tote bag printed with Colossians 3:12.

That verse tells us what to put on every morning, what to clothe ourselves with. It also comes with Nancy's booklet Becoming a Woman of Discretion. For more information, you can visit our website ReviveOurHearts.com or call 1-800-569-5959. That's 1-800-569-5959.

You can also get information on how to get a copy of Nancy's teaching on modesty on cassette or CD. This is the final day of the series. If you missed any of it, you might want to order a copy.

What has God been teaching you during this series? Would you share it with us? Our address is Revive Our Hearts, Box 82500, Lincoln, Nebraska 68501.

On Monday we'll provide some perspective for singles with our guest Caroline McCulley. We hope you can be here for Revive Our Hearts.

Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss is an outreach of Life Action Ministries.

Note: Special offers available only during the broadcast of the radio series.