A Heart for Purity

Series: The Princess and the Kiss--Part 2

Leslie Basham: Stories are powerful. Jesus used parables when he taught.

“Behold, a sower went out to sow, and as he sowed some seed fell by the wayside . . .”

And when it comes to teaching important life principles to children, stories are especially effective.

“Long ago in a wonderful castle on a mountain of splendor, a beautiful princess . . . ”

That’s why when it comes to the whole idea of moral purity a lot of moms and dads are turning to stories to help their kids get it.

Today is Monday, November 28th, and you’re listening to Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss. As you may already be aware, God has given us a burden here at Revive Our Hearts to train up a generation of women to think biblically, to live in a way that is consistent with the Word of God in every area of their lives. And Nancy, we’re asking God to send about a counter-revolution.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: That’s right, Leslie. To build up a generation of women who are countercultural, who are willing to swim up-stream like salmon do. But to see that happen it’s important that mothers train their daughters how to live those radical biblical lives as well.

I’m always so encouraged when moms and grandmoms write to us, and they say, “We want some resources that will help us train our daughters and our granddaughters in God’s way of thinking. What can you do to help us?”

Well, I’m thrilled to be able to share with you this week about a set of resources that the Lord has made available to us that will help you do just that. Some time ago I came across a book called The Princess and the Kiss. It’s by a woman named Jennie Bishop, and we’re delighted to have her here in the studio with us.

Then subsequent to that a friend of mine and a woman who works part-time with our Revive Our Hearts ministry, Susan Henson, said, “Let's take that book, The Princess and the Kiss, and draw out of it some life lessons to help moms know how to walk through this parable with their daughters, to give them some handles to train their children in purity.”

Susan’s also with us here today. Susan and Jennie, thank you so much for your work in developing these resources and for being here this week to discuss them.

Jennie Bishop: It's a privilege, thank you.

Susan Henson: Thank you for having us.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: We’ve become dear friends through the process of working together on it, and it’s been fun, not only to see the resources developed, but to see God use these resources already in the lives of some moms and daughters that you’ll be hearing from this week.

We’ve just had the privilege of watching a group of women and their daughters go through this study of The Princess and the Kiss and The Life Lessons. Then we had a special princess ceremony that culminated their study. But I want to back up. Jennie, tell us just a synopsis of the story.

Jennie Bishop: Well, it begins with a princess being born to a mother and father who are king and queen. They give her a very special gift from God—her first kiss. They save it for her, keeping it in the castle tower until she becomes a young woman. Then, when she’s of age, they present her with the kiss and say, “Now, it’s yours to keep or to give away as you see fit.”

There are princes who come and present themselves to the princess as suitors, and it’s about her decision about how she comes to find the man that God had prepared for her. I shouldn’t spoil the story by telling how.

But it’s about passing on that legacy of saving yourself for marriage and looking for the right partner to our children and their children someday, too.

Nancy: Now when your daughter, Vashti, first brought up the conversation that resulted in you writing the book she was in kindergarten, and she had friends talking about boyfriends and ex-boyfriends.

Now she’s eleven, and many girls her age, maybe most, are talking about that all the time. How is your daughter’s thinking different than a lot of the girls around her?

Jennie: I have an amazing little girl, and I can’t take the credit for that in the way I’ve raised her. God is just on her in a marvelous way. But in her life right now, she is an example of purity to the kids in her class.

There have even been times when she’s come home and wept because she doesn’t feel they understand how important purity is to her or in their own lives. She’s counseled friends. “There’s no reason to go out because you don’t have a car, and you can’t go anywhere,” and, “A boyfriend doesn’t make you special. You’re special because God says you’re special.”

She is an example of purity to everyone she meets. She’s made a very strong commitment. She has asked us for a vow of purity ring that she could wear so that she could say to her friends, “This is where I stand. This is the way I live. My life is full of joy because of it, and you can have this, too.”

She has a bracelet that she wears that says, “God is my boyfriend” on it. There have been many times that she has been approached by a boy or another girl and has been able to say, “You know, Jesus is really first in my heart, and I’m just not interested in that.”

Her heart to reach out to her peers on that level is a huge blessing to me. I think we’ve seen with the Life Lessons book to the girls that have been involved is that even at a very young age these girls can develop a passion to be pure. That’s so exciting to see them just rise up and say, “This is really what I want.”

I don’t think we often give kids enough credit that they can make that decision at such a very young age and that’s why we get tempted into waiting too long. Then they’re teenagers, and the teachable moment might already be past.

Nancy: Susan, you came across this book. How did it become something that God gave you a burden to take further as you developed the Life Lessons to go along with The Princess and the Kiss?

Susan Henson: Well, I was reading it to my grandchildren. They were three and five, a girl and a boy. So as a result of just reading this story over and over again, which is their favorite book, I began to write down all the discussion questions that opened up the doors for so many wonderful opportunities of conversation and opportunities just to share my heart with them.

I just began to write those down. So really it came as a result of just having a grandmother’s heart of “I want to invest in my grandchildren’s lives.”

Nancy: And really the vision for that kind of investment in your grandchildren is based on God’s Word, isn’t it?

Susan: Yes, it says in Psalm 78 that God commanded Israel and He says, “And I commanded the fathers that they should make them known to their children that the generation to come might know them even to the children which should be born who should arise and declare them to their children that they may set their hope in God and not forget the works of God but keep his commandments” (verses 3-4).

If you read on in the story, Ephraim’s children were given . . . they were armed and were given bows, but yet they turned back in the day of battle. There are many of us who as moms, I think we’ve turned back somewhere maybe in raising our own children in the battle. And through this I believe that God is wanting us to, as we’ve said earlier, to stand up now.

It says, “That they might set their hope in God” (Psalm 78:7). His desire for us as parents and moms and grandparents is to teach this generation so that they will set their hope in God and attach themselves to him, so they won’t have to attach themselves to the things of this world.

Nancy : Somebody might listen to some of that and think, “That is light years from where I am. That’s light years from where my daughter is. My daughter is eight, but she’s hard-hearted; she’s resistant. We have a terrible relationship. I’ve been involved in all this immorality, and my daughter’s headed that direction. This book is just for people who already have it together.” How would you respond to them?

Jennie: I’d like to find some of those people who already have it all together. I think that’s the key. We all start somewhere, and we all come with our burdens. We all come with our problems, our sin, and the things that we still deal with in our lives or the mistakes that we’ve made and the baggage that we still carry.

That is the incredible redemptive power of the cross—we’re able to come with all those things and begin again and find our way. I believe that as we come to God and we say, “I’m sorry.” We truly repent. We truly want to be changed. God will reach out and say, “Let me bring you along.”

Nancy: That’s what grace is all about.

Jennie: Yes, and then he begins to guide us down that path. You can jump on anytime you want. Come on!

Nancy: It’s amazing to think a little . . . . I started to call it a fairy tale; it’s more a parable. The Princess and the Kiss could have such an impact. I have to tell you as I read it through myself, I’m 46 years-old, and I was so touched by this story just as a grown woman thinking about the love of God for me and the gift that He has given me of being able to have a pure heart and the fact that my life is being consecrated and kept and preserved for the Lord Jesus, my heavenly bridegroom. Just the pictures and the story brought a fresh sense of gratitude and love in my own heart for the Lord Jesus.

So for every season and every chapter of life, it’s amazing but God has, I think, raised up this little story, which has a big message in it; and the companion resources we have available, the Life Lessons book to go with The Princess and the Kiss. We have available the Princess Prayer Box Necklace. The description of the Princess Purity Ceremony is in the book.

We have a whole section on our website, ReviveOurHearts.com, that will give you other ideas for how you can utilize these resources and again a place where you can contribute ideas that you develop as you do this with your daughter or with women and daughters in your church or your small group.

So I hope that you’ll become a part of what, I think by God’s grace, may become a nationwide movement of purity, a new heart for purity among women and girls all across this nation.

Leslie Basham: And you know, Nancy, one of the questions we’ve been asked a lot is do you have any resources like The Princess and the Kiss for boys? Jennie, now there is something for boys. Tell us about it.

Jennie: I am so glad to answer that question today. When The Princess came out in 2000, I believe it was ever since then that I’ve had moms come to me and ask me the same thing. I’m so pleased to say that this past year The Squire and the Scroll was introduced into bookstores.

This is a story for boys about integrity written with a dragon instead of a kiss, which is much more appropriate for the young men, of course. It’s more of a book about a quest for integrity. Each part of the quest involves a door of the heart.

We were talking earlier about Proverbs 4 and guarding the well-spring of life. That’s really the passage this book is built around for little boys who are just learning about integrity and saving themselves for marriage.

I’m going to be really interested to hear the reports of the moms who’ve been waiting so long because I know that the resources for boys, there are not very many out there either, so I will love to hear the reports as they come in from The Squire and the Scroll.

Nancy: So Susan, now you have something for your grandson who’s had to listen to you read The Princess and the Kiss, how many times? The poor thing.

Leslie: Well, we have that book available here at Revive Our Hearts. It’s called The Squire and the Scroll. And there’s a Life’s Lessons book to go along with it, too. Earlier we were discussing the book about purity for girls, The Princess and the Kiss by one of our guests today, Jennie Bishop.

If you’d like to order either The Princess and the Kiss for girls or The Squire and the Scroll for boys, you can do so by looking us up on our website. Our web address is ReviveOurHearts.com. If you don’t have internet access or you would prefer to call, the toll free number is 1-800-569-5959.

If you’ve ever felt disqualified from talking to your son or daughter about moral purity because of a failure in your own past, please be sure to tune in tomorrow. You’ll find you’re not alone, but you’ll be encouraged by some moms who’ve overcome that sense of hypocrisy because of God’s grace.

I hope you can join us for tomorrow’s edition of Revive Our Hearts.

Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss is an outreach of Life Action Ministries.

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