Knowing Vs. Feeling

Series: What to Do When Life Hurts

Leslie Basham: Do you base your actions more on what you know or on what you feel? Here's Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Our conclusion is, If I don't feel it, it must not be true. Now, we wouldn't say that, but it is what we feel generally as women that matters more to us than what we know and this is where I think a lot of women end up crippled emotionally and spiritually because they are relying on their feelings to be an accurate barometer of what's true.

Leslie Basham: It's Monday, March 29; and you're listening to Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

Everyone goes through times of pain. All this week Nancy will offer practical advice on what to do when life hurts. During times of stress, it's important to act on what we know to be true rather than on what we feel at the moment. How can we learn to do that? Here's Nancy to get us started.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: We're talking about knowing something intellectually being different from it reaching the heart and I do think the victory starts with what we know. If you don't know the truth, then it's never going to reach your heart.

But once we know the truth, there are a lot of people who know a lot of truth but it never affects the way that they feel or live or act or respond and that's where we need to be committed to this whole process of sanctification in every part of us.

First what we think. And the battle does begin in the mind because as long as we're holding onto lies, that's going to control the way that we feel, the way that we live. But once we know the truth and have agreed intellectually with that, then we need the process of the Spirit.

And it is the work of the spirit--sanctifying, cleansing, washing, renewing every other part of us, that is our emotions, our will, our behavior and I think for us as women the emotions are the sticking point, a lot of times, because we know it but don't feel it and, therefore, our conclusion is, If I don't feel it, it must not be true.

Now, we wouldn't say that, but it's what we feel, generally, as women that matters more to us than what we know. And this is where, I think, a lot of women end up crippled emotionally and spiritually because they are relying on their feelings to be an accurate barometer of what's true and that's a whole principle that throughout all life, I think, particularly, as women, we need to be careful about: that is not giving too much credit to our feelings.

Now, feelings aren't wrong, they're not sinful inherently, but they can be very deceiving and there's not a day that goes by that I don't have to counsel my own emotions because my emotions would invariably lead me to think and to do things that are not consistent with the Word of God. So, I have to become disciplined about my emotions.

It's one thing to discipline our bodies; it's another thing to discipline our minds. But it's tough to say to our emotions, "You are not going to run my life." So what that I feel this way, you know, maybe I didn't have enough sleep the last several nights or I'm at a season of life or a time of the month or whatever where my emotions can run loose and where we have to be very disciplined about them.

But I do believe that the same thing that sanctifies our minds, that is the Word of God, is also what sanctifies our emotions. And it's a process; it doesn't happen with a six-week stint with a counselor, in of itself. It's not just sitting in church on Sunday morning and hearing the Word. It's a commitment to day in, day out washing of my whole being with the Word of God.

The Word, it heals, it cleanses, it renews and I find that if I'm not getting consistent, what I call megadoses of the Word, into my being that my emotions are going to be much stronger, that they are going to be elevated out of proportion to what they should be. And I'm going to heed them. They are so powerful for us, particularly as women.

And I've watched the Lord over and over and over again, with my own emotions, when they are spinning out of control, and sometimes it's just because you're tired or people"¦ it's amazing how a family member can say one little thing and if somebody else said it, it wouldn't sting; it wouldn't hurt the same way but it's that person whose approval you want. You know what it is to mull over that thing so long and so hard that it's way out of proportion. It's driving you. It's controlling you.

And the next time you see that person you're ready to kill them. Then you stop and say, "Wait a minute, think about what really happened here. Think about put it in perspective. It's the emotions that are running my life."

I've watched the Lord many, many times take the Word and use it to control, to manage, to steer my emotions. And, you know, I love what I do. I love ministry. I love people, most of the time.

But there are lots of moments when in my own weariness or my own weakness or my own sense of inadequacy, I just don't feel up to whatever it is that God is expecting of me.

And that's when I have to get into the Word, onto my knees, in a surrendered heart position and say, "Lord, just wash my emotions."

God can do that in a moment. He can do it with a particular passage, a particular word; but I think the bigger key is the long haul. It's weeks and months and years of faithful getting into the Word, meditating on it, memorizing it, quoting it to yourself and to others, singing it back to the Lord, whatever you have to do to get it engrafted into your heart.

And that lays a foundation, that when you do have those run away emotions or the word comes that stings or that reminder comes of something that happened in your childhood that was so painful"¦maybe really, you were greatly sinned against and that that memory comes back or that person's face--that person who blew up your marriage, that ex-mate, that teacher or babysitter who so harmed your child, that image, that face comes to your mind and your emotions just want to lash out. You want to be bitter. You want to be angry. You want to hold onto and nurse and cherish those feelings.

If you've laid a solid foundation of thinking biblically about God, about yourself, about your circumstances, about God's purposes and God's plans, then in that crisis moment or that stressed out moment or that moment when the emotions are running rampant, then you can go back to the Word and more quickly get tethered back to the Truth.

But if you haven't been doing it for a period of weeks or months or years, then you get into a crisis and you open up your Bible and you say, "God, do something about this problem" and God may be gracious and give you just the right Word, just the right verse that ministers to you at that moment. But you don't have the reservoir, you don't have the well to draw from that's going to meet you at that point of need"¦so, I can't say enough.

I've often said that if I had only one message I could share with women, it would be the message about the daily devotional life. And by that I don't just mean doing your devotions.

By that I mean the daily habit of taking time alone with the Lord to cultivate that relationship, to get to know Him in His Word, responding to Him in worship, praise, prayer, humility, confession, repentance but getting the intake of the Word.

I have been reading the Scripture, influenced by the habit of my parents, and with that example in my home, I've read through the Scripture, I don't know how many times, now. There's not one right way to do this, but I know how much I need it. I work at getting megadoses of the Scripture into my system.

You know when you get a cold, they tell you to take lots of C and echinacea and drink lots of water. I mean, you just start pumping that stuff into your system.

Well, if you're always, as a way of life, pumping the Word of God into your system, the challenges and the hurts and the wounds that come into life, as they will, (you can't avoid those) but as they come into your life, there's going to be a level of ability to respond to those things because your heart is tethered to the Truth. And that does not come overnight. There are no shortcuts to that. It's a way of life, a lot like physical diet.

You know its one thing to go on a health food kick for six months, and that's not a bad idea, but far better if you really care about the overall condition, your overall physical condition, to have a whole lifestyle.

I've just made a major lifestyle change in my eating and I'm committed to this, not for a short period of time but, Lord willing, for the rest of my life. Now I'm on record. But, I know that's what I need and I know that's what's going to make the difference. So, I'm just"¦it's been a major change; but I know that if I'm just in there for the short haul, it's not going to make the difference I need. It has to be a long-term commitment. And it's hard.

And getting into the Word every day and letting it minister to you and wash you, it's hard. I'm busy. You're busy. And time doesn't just happen for that. It takes choices. It takes accountability. And it means failing sometimes, sometimes a lot, and getting back up and going again and saying, "This is not a sprint I'm running here. This is a cross-country. This is long range. This is long term. This is long haul."

And I'm in it for that and that's the commitment that we need to help each other with. And that's the commitment that I think really gives us grace to have the healing for the damaged emotions and the reservoir to respond when those emotions are challenged as they are.

Song:

Leslie Basham: When life hurts, we need to trust what we know rather than what we feel. Nancy Leigh DeMoss has written about this in her book, Lies Women Believe. If you're experiencing life's hurts right now, we hope you'll get a copy.

It comes as part of a special package we've put together for this series. It includes the book, Lies Women Believe along with a companion workbook, Walking in the Truth. You will also get a special, Truth That Sets You Free bookmark.

Just ask for the When Life Hurts package when you call us at 1-800-569-5959 or visit ReviveOurHearts.com for the When Life Hurts package or a free transcript of today's program.

Maybe you know of someone who is going through a time of hurt and needs to hear today's program. You can e-mail them a transcript by going to ReviveOurHearts.com. Listen to what one listener had to say about ReviveOurHearts.com:

"Your ministry is so very much needed. Even though I have an intimate relationship with the Lord and awaken most days to meet with Him, I was encouraged and challenged by your teaching on the devotional life.

It reminded me again of its importance and purpose. I was never crazy about the Internet, but now that I can get your radio program, I'm all for it. We live in an area where we can't receive Christian radio stations. Thank you and may God bless you and keep you and shine His face upon you and your entire staff."

Leslie Basham: We enjoy getting letters from you. It encourages us in our ministry. Go to ReviveOurHearts.com and send an e-mail or write to Revive Our Hearts.

Tomorrow, Nancy will continue in the series called, "What to Do When Life Hurts." She'll talk about how she responded when someone criticized her. We hope you can join us for Revive Our Hearts.

Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss is a ministry partnership of Life Action Ministry.

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