Two Are Better Than One

Series: The Power of Relationships

Leslie Basham: Do you have a true encourager in your life? Someone brave enough to tell you the truth. Here's Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Encouragement isn't just saying, "I love you; I think you're wonderful." Sometimes encouragement is saying, "Watch out, I think you're vulnerable there."

Leslie Basham: It's Monday, March 15; and this is Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

You've heard that there is safety in numbers. When you're nervous about going somewhere, it's a lot different when you can take a friend. That principle also applies to our spiritual lives. Let's find out more as Nancy continues in a series called "The Power of Relationships."

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: I read recently about a magnificent and elusive mountain goat on the top of the Spanish Pyrenees, the mountains in Spain. The writer said that this mountain goat always seems to get away from shooting range. They discovered the reason for it is that it has a companion. There is a younger goat that follows and sounds the warning of enemies around it.

We're seeing in this series from Ecclesiastes 4 that we need each other. We need each other for lots of different reasons. We talked earlier in this series about the problem of isolation, of injustice, of broken, hurting, painful relationships. But now we're looking at God's solution which is to have godly, healthy, intimate relationships first with God and then with each other.

So if you have your Bible, turn if you would to Ecclesiastes 4. We're looking at the paragraph beginning at verse 9. It starts: "Two are better than one."

We've been looking at the different reasons that two are better than one. Verse 9 says that two are better than one because they have a good return for their work. Their labor is more fruitful. And two are better than one in verse 10 because if one falls down, his friend can help him up. There's help in time of adversity or difficulty or failure.

And then we saw in the last session that two are better than one because if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? And we talked about how godly friends (relationships within the Body of Christ) can provide comfort and companionship to each other in our time of need.

Now we come today to verse 12. This is another reason why two are better than one. Two are better than one because though one may be overpowered two can defend themselves. "A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."

Here's another blessing and benefit from living in community, living in fellowship and living in relationship, first with God, then with other people. Don't expect to have intimacy in your marriage if you don't have intimacy in your personal relationship with God.

But now we come to this benefit which is: "If one is overpowered two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." Relationships provide protection--protection and defense in time of danger.

Relationships can provide strength and help in time of attack. There are times when we all get overpowered by our circumstances or by opposition that we're facing.

Listen, if you're living a godly life expect opposition. Jesus experienced it and He said that all of His disciples would experience it as well. Expect that people will not always be thrilled with your living a godly life.

It may happen in your marriage. If you are married to a non-believer or a man who is not walking with God expect there will be times when you will feel overwhelmed and overpowered by the opposition of the enemy. Now your husband is not the enemy. The enemy is Satan and don't forget that in relationships.

But Satan can use other people to create in our hearts a sense of being overpowered, overwhelmed. And when we're alone and we get into those adverse circumstances, into times of danger or times of spiritual attack; if we're alone we're going to be vulnerable.

This is why I've tried to make a habit over the years (with very few exceptions) of not watching television when I'm by myself because I know that I am going to be more vulnerable to wrong ways of thinking, to the enemies' attack in my mind, in my emotions. You see, you and I were not intended to live our Christian lives alone.

We cannot survive without having an active role in each other's lives. And by the way it's not just two being talked about here. Verse 12 helps us realize that we shouldn't limit ourselves to just one other person in our lives.

"A cord of three strands is not quickly broken" and what a neat thing it is to meet women who are in small prayer groups around the country as they're praying in twos or threes or fours.

I remember hearing some women say that they call each other every day on the phone or periodically on the phone to pray with each other. It may be two or three or four. Don't limit your friendships to one person. You'll start to suffocate the friendship and you'll place your security more easily in that one person. Make sure you include others in that circle of relationships.

But those relationships within the Body of Christ can protect us when we're in danger, protect us when we're under attack. We have such a need for accountability.

I know that's a word that some of us aren't real comfortable with. We'd rather be independent; we'd rather do things on our own. We've been trained to be self-sufficient but the fact is that we're not self-sufficient. We need each other or we're going to be overpowered by the enemy.

And I need accountability in many different areas of my life. In practical areas--as I'm getting a little older I find I need more accountability in the area of diet and exercise. I have a friend, Sandy, who will periodically check up on me and say: "Are you getting out, are you doing your three times a week walking?" Well, if it weren't for Sandy's e-mails and calls I probably would not be getting out, even those three times a week to do that walking. I need the accountability and the prayers.

I think of people over the years, I think of a friend who said to me last night: "How are you doing in relation to your eating?" because she knows that this has been a struggle in my life--to really surrender that area of my life to the Lord. And we hadn't seen each other in a while. And she said it sweetly, she said it kindly. I was so glad she asked me.

I had to say: "Not real well these days." But I needed that accountability, that motivation, that encouragement so I don't get in bondage to food. I don't want to be overpowered by food; I want to be in bondage to the Lord. I want to be His servant. So this friend came alongside, "two are better than one;" she will help me in that area.

I think of a friend years ago who cautioned me about a relationship, a friendship that I was involved in that had the potential to have an inappropriate emotional involvement. I didn't see that, I didn't know it. I wasn't thinking of that potential. I hadn't sinned but my friend wanted to make sure that I didn't sin. And she came alongside.

I'll tell you honestly when she first brought this up, I was a little defensive inside because my immediate reaction was that there was nothing wrong with that. And there wasn't. But God had put it on this woman's heart just to give me a caution.

Now that I look back I'm so thankful that I have friends that love me enough to say: "We don't want to pick you up after you've fallen into sin (if you do, we will) but we want to catch you before there's any chance of falling. We want to hold you up. I'm not saying that I would have fallen into a sinful relationship if she hadn't said that but I'll tell you, "I'm sure glad she did say it" because it just minimized the risk, the danger. Someone loved me enough to give a caution.

Hebrews 3:13 says: "Encourage or exhort one another daily. How often is that? Every day. How often do we need another in our lives? Every day. Why? "Encourage one another daily lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin." I want so much to keep a heart that is tender toward God, a heart that is sensitive to Him, a heart that is sensitive to sin, a heart that is pure.

First I need the Holy Spirit to do that in my life but then I need you and you need me. We need each other daily to encourage each other. Encouragement isn't just saying, "I love you, I think you're wonderful."

Sometimes encouragement is saying, "Watch out, I think you're vulnerable there. I think you might be vulnerable there" or as a friend of mine used to say, "I could be a million miles off, but is it possible that""¦and then this person would bring up something that they had a concern about. And I'll tell you what, as I look back on it--they were rarely wrong.

Let me say not only do we need those people in our lives but we need to be willing to be that second or that third person in the lives of others. It's true in your marriage.

The enemy wants to destroy your husband morally. He wants to destroy him spiritually. He wants to destroy him emotionally. The enemy wants to do that to your children and others in your sphere of influence.

As a wife, as a mom, as a friend, you need to be that second person, that third person that comes alongside and says, "I'm going to stand with you. I'm going to protect you. I'm going to defend you."

I have a friend whose husband has fallen into great moral sin. And I've watched that woman go to battle for her husband. Not against her husband as many women would. Don't beat your husband up when he's down. Help him up! You don't do it by preaching at him; you don't do it by nagging him.

You do it by loving him and wisely and prayerfully speaking words as God directs. I've watched my friend doing battle for her husband so that he would not be overcome and destroyed by the enemy.

And if he gets delivered, as it appears that he is going to, it will be because he had a wife who loved him enough to come alongside and say: "I'm not leaving you. I'm going to hang in there. I'm going to pray like crazy. Regardless of what you do or don't do, I'm going to wage war with you for your soul."

Who is the person that you have helping you so you don't get overpowered and who is the person that you are helping so they don't get overpowered by the enemy?

Leslie Basham: Good questions from Nancy Leigh DeMoss. She'll be right back to pray. Nancy has been challenging us to encourage others in their walk with Christ.

She's written an article that will help you do just that. It's called "Building Up One Another." In it Nancy looks to the Bible and finds five specific ways we can encourage other people.

We hope you'll take a look at that article on our Web site Revive Our Hearts.com. While you are there, you can take a look at the transcript of today's program. We post the transcripts every day and, if you know someone who should hear today's message, e-mailing them the transcript would be an easy, inexpensive way to share it with them. Again, our Web address is ReviveOurHearts.com.

We know the value and power of having others stand with us helping us in ministry. In fact, we couldn't provide this program without the prayers and financial gifts of our listeners.

If you've never given to the ministry, would you consider making a contribution? Our mission is to call women to freedom, fullness and fruitfulness in Christ. If you believe in that mission, please give us a call at 1-800-569-5959. Or mail your donation to Revive Our Hearts.

Tomorrow Nancy will talk about how the Body of Christ is crucial to helping us grow spiritually. We hope you can be here. And now here's Nancy to lead us in prayer.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Thank You, Lord that You are our defender, our refuge, our fortress. You are the one who delivers us from the enemy. Thank You that You use Your people to provide protection and defense.

Thank You that two are better than one and that when we have the potential of being overpowered, You put people into our lives to defend us. Help us to receive that help and then also to provide that help for others.

I pray in Jesus name, Amen.

Leslie Basham:

Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss is a ministry partnership of Life Action Ministry.