Keeping Warm

Series: The Power of Relationships

Leslie Basham: If you feel spiritually cold, God may want to use another person to warm you up.

Here's Nancy Leigh DeMoss to explain.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: We need each other. In times when those biting Northern winds come sweeping through our lives, times of grief, times of sorrow, we need other people to comfort us, to provide companionship, to keep us warm, to keep us alive, to encourage us.

Leslie Basham: It's Friday, March 12; and this is Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

Here's Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: When the white man first arrived in North America, the native Indians did not have a written language or alphabet but their vocabulary was often more eloquent and more expressive than that of the French and English explorers. For example, the word "friend" was understood by the Native Americans, "as one who carries my sorrows on his back." Isn't that good? One who carries my sorrows on his back. That's a real friend.

We've been talking about friendships and relationships and why we need them, why we struggle with them. We've talked about the problem and the pain of injustice, of oppression, of painful relationships. We've talked about the problem of isolation, just aloneness.

And now we are talking about God's prescription for both painful and non-existent relationships and that is God's desire that we should have intimate relationships, not injustice, not isolation but intimacy.

The passage we have been studying together is Ecclesiastes chapter 4. A lot of Ecclesiastes talks about the meaninglessness, the vanity, the emptiness of life "under the sun." That phrase that appears 26 times in the Book of Ecclesiastes says that life without God, relationships without God, relationships lived apart from God, are empty; they are meaningless--it's a chasing after the wind; it's frustrating; it's a cause for despair if we don't have God in our relationships.

But as we have come to verse 9 in Ecclesiastes chapter 4, and again I hope that you are following along in your Bible, if it's possible, we've come to this phrase "two are better than one" and then we are given four reasons that it's good to have healthy, godly relationships.

We talked first about how these characteristics, these blessings, these benefits of intimate relationships--how they apply to our relationship with God, how He meets these relational needs in these four ways.

Now we are talking about how these qualities, these characteristics apply to our relationships with each other on the horizontal level. We saw in the last couple of sessions that two are better than one, first because they have a good return for their work. There is increased productivity. They are able to be more productive. And their labor is more fruitful. When you work with someone who has different gifts and abilities than you have, you combine your labors and you find you can be more effective.

In verse 10 we looked at in the last session if one falls down, his friend can help him up.

This is another reason that two are better than one. "But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up." We talked about how intimate friendships and relationships can provide help--help in time of adversity, help in time of difficulty; and how a good friend can help us up in times of failure.

When we have fallen or when we are about to fall or when we can't stand up on our own, God, who is our truest friend; but then also good friends here on earth, can help us in these times. They can help us stand upright, help pull us out of a pit when we have fallen down.

Again it's not that we are to lean on people, we lean on God. But we realize God often uses His people, as we are members of the Body of Christ, God uses his people to help us, to lift us up and to keep us from falling.

We not only want to look to how we can get that kind of help from others, but as we are considering this passage, we want to be asking the Lord how He wants us to be that kind of friend to someone else.

Now we come to verse 11 which says, also this is another reason why two are better than one, another reason we need relationships, "If two lie down together they will keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone."

This says to us that one of the benefits and blessings of relationship with God, and with others, is that intimate relationships provide comfort and companionship in our times of need.

"If two lie down together they will keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone." Now there's a sense in which this is literally true or can be. I've read that one's body heat can actually keep another person from freezing.

I think obviously that the author has more in mind here than just the matter of body temperature. The implication here is that there is a cold environment and this world certainly is cold and harsh. That's why we need each other in times when those biting northern winds come sweeping through our lives--in times of grief, times of sorrow, times of adversity we need other people to comfort us, to provide companionship, to keep us warm, to keep us alive, to encourage us, to give us spiritual and emotional warmth and hope, to give us perspective.

Sometimes that's what keeps us alive; it's just realizing there is a point of view, that is God's point of view, that can help me get through this.

I've got a number of precious friends who fill all of these different types of relational needs in my life. But I think of one friend who I talk with on the phone quite often, we don't see each other a lot, but when I am feeling like I'm just buried, overwhelmed, swamped, can't keep my head above water, this friend has a way of just encouraging me and saying in essence, "Nancy, you are going to make it. God has been so good to you. God has helped you through this. God has brought you this far."

She just speaks words that warm my heart. And again we see that the apostle Paul had this kind of need. You think of Paul as being very capable, very strong and probably not really needing other people. But that's not true; repeatedly, throughout the epistles, Paul expresses his need for the warmth of others.

Second Corinthians, chapter 2, verses 12 and 13, Paul says "When I came to Troas to preach the Gospel of Christ, even though a door was opened for me in the Lord, my spirit was not at rest because I did not find my brother Titus there. So I took leave of them and went on to Macedonia." Now I don't know what all is behind that and we don't know more than what the scripture said there, but apparently Paul needed warmth.

Second Corinthians, chapter 7, verse 5, Paul says "even when we came into Macedonia, our bodies had no rest but we were afflicted at every turn, fighting without and fear within." But verse 6, I love this verse, "But God who comforts the downcast comforted us by the coming of Titus."

So now Titus had come and Paul could be warmed, now he could be comforted. There wasn't anything strange or weird about this relationship, it's the family of God. Paul said, "I needed my brother Titus" but God who comforts the downcast, God who warms cold hearts; God warmed me and God comforted me by sending my brother Titus.

Maybe when you move to a new city, maybe when you lose a job or lose a loved one; but you are cold and you are just kind of shivering inside and that's when you need a friend, that's when two are better than one because if two lie down together they will keep warm.

I just think about so many people who have kept me warm, who kept my heart warm, my spirit warm over the years in various seasons of my life. In the ministry of Revive Our Hearts there are so many people that keep my heart warm and when I tend to get discouraged or weary in the ministry, I thank God for the encouraging e-mails, for the letters.

We receive so many letters from people I have never met who say, "I am praying for you. I pray for you daily. I pray for the ministry of Revive Our Hearts." I just want to say that if you are one of those people, you cannot imagine what that does to my heart. It warms me on days when I feel so cold, so needy and God sends you along.

Just a week or so ago I was out walking with a friend and we got to talking about what was happening in our lives and my heart was feeling kind of heavy. So when we got back she began to ask questions and we talked and before many minutes had passed I was sitting there in tears. This friend just put her arm around me, just held me and began to pray. How God used that friend, "two are better than one." We can keep each other warm. God used that dear sister to warm my heart at that moment.

I have had the privilege over the years, and it is a privilege not only of being warmed by God's people, but also keeping others warm or keeping others whose hearts and lives were in cold circumstances, of praying with them, of weeping with friends after the loss of a mate, at the graveside of an infant child, praying, crying, coming alongside keeping warm.

Leslie Basham: That's Nancy Leigh DeMoss on how much we need each other. She'll be right back with some closing thoughts in prayer. But let me remind you about what Nancy said about the encouragement she gets from your notes and e-mails.

God has used the words of our listeners to warm her heart. Our mission is to call women to freedom, fullness and fruitfulness in Christ. If this program has done this in your life, would you write and let us know?

 To send e-mail, visit ReviveOurHearts.com, click on "share and interact," and then follow the instructions from there.

While you are at ReviveOurHearts.com take a look at a special notepad set we have created to go along with this series. It will give you some tools to encourage others through your words and to remind them of the verses we have been studying in Ecclesiastes. For more information, visit ReviveOurHearts.com or call 1-800-569-5959.

Sometimes to be an encourager we have to be brave enough to tell someone the truth. We'll talk about that on the next broadcast.

Here's Nancy with some additional thoughts on these words from Ecclesiastes 4.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: "If two lie down together they will keep warm." You know our natural tendency is to focus on who is keeping me warm.

We often feel needy and we can tend to get resentful or bitter if we feel like, I need someone to come warm me up, especially if you are a single woman or single again or widowed, living by yourself, or a single mom and you feel so alone.

I know what it's like to feel like you don't even want to go to church because you don't want to sit by yourself one more time. I know that many of our listeners have that kind of experience, but let me say that we need to be the warmers.

We need to look around and say, "Who's cold besides me? and who can I sit next to? Who's another person at church who doesn't have someone to sit with them? How can I initiate relationship and the giving of warmth to others?"

So ask yourself, Who am I keeping warm; who am I reaching out to? and let me promise you, and I have seen it over and over and over again in my own life--as you warm others, you will get warmed yourself. When you reach out and pray and listen and care, God will make sure, God who comforts the downcast, will make sure that your heart gets warmed.

Father, thank You, thank You for how You warm our hearts with Your love and with Your fellowship. Thank You for how You use Your people to warm our hearts when they are cold and needy.

It is better to be with another than to be alone, "two are better than one." I pray that you would help us to be to those who warm others, those who encourage, those who strengthen, with our love, our tears, our prayers, our notes of encouragement, our words of grace, I pray in Jesus' name. Amen.'

Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss is a ministry partnership of Life Action Ministry.

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