Intimacy

Series: The Power of Relationships

Leslie Basham: Jesus' work on the cross not only has reconciled us to God, it also makes it possible to be reconciled to each other. Here's Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: The kinds of relationships for which we were created are only possible within the context of the Gospel. Because it's the Gospel that reconciles, it's the Gospel that calls us to relationship and it's the Gospel that enables us to experience relationship at its best.

Leslie Basham: It's March 9. This is Tuesday and Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss. The state of relationships today seems bleak. Look around and you'll see divorce, rebellious kids, conflict in the church and wars among nations. But the cross is where we can meet and learn how to be in relationship because of God's mercy. Let's find out more from Nancy.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Relationships. This is an issue where the rubber meets the road. We all have relationships, and we've all experienced what we've been seeing in Ecclesiastes chapter 4. Let me ask you to be turning there, Ecclesiastes chapter 4.

We've been seeing the pain of oppression and injustice, the pain of broken relationships, of shameful and sinful and ungodly relationships. We've all experienced that. We've all experienced what it is to be wronged by others.

And we've experienced what it is to wrong others, to have brokenness in our relationships and we've experienced what we talked about in our last session and that is the problem of isolation. Not just painful relationships but no relationship.

And for whatever the reason, maybe we've cut ourselves off because of the pain of the past; maybe we're just in a season of life where we really don't have a lot of people around us. Particularly my heart goes out to widows who have married for years and years. But once that partner is gone, there's that sense of aloneness and longing and missing and desiring the companionship and in different ways.

Even if you are currently married and have a house full of children, you still know what it is at times to experience a sense of aloneness. You may not be literally alone but there may be in your heart at times, a sense of no one is connecting to my heart. No one really understands. So there's this plague of loneliness, this problem of isolation.

Now God has a solution. He has a prescription for both the pain of oppression and injustice and for the problem of isolation and aloneness. And God's prescription is the word, relationships. Relationships characterized by intimacy. Not injustice or isolation, but intimacy, oneness of heart, oneness of spirit.

So let me read in Ecclesiastes chapter 4 the paragraph that begins at verse 9 where we see God's prescription for intimate relationships.

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: if one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls down and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."

So we see in verses 9 through 12 here in Ecclesiastes chapter 4 the power of intimacy, the power of godly, healthy relationships. This is God's alternative to oppression and isolation.

And can I say that the kinds of relationships that we long for and the kinds of relationships for which we were created are only possible within the framework of the Christian faith. They're only possible within the context of the Gospel because it's the Gospel that reconciles, it's the Gospel that brings warring factions together and it's the Gospel that enables us to experience relationship at its best.

Verse 9, Ecclesiastes chapter 4, "two are better than one." We have a God who calls us to relationship. He calls us to relationship with Himself and He calls us to relationship, community and fellowship with each other. He's a God of relationship. God models relationship for us. He's a God who has horizontal relationships with Himself. Well, within the Trinity, God is three in one.

So we read in Genesis chapter 1, "Let us make man in our image God says." Here is God having fellowship, common mission, shared goals, working together within the Trinity.

He said, "This is my beloved Son in whom I am well pleased."(Matthew 3:17) He affirmed that relationship He had as Father with His Son.

And Jesus said, "I and my Father are one"(John 10:30). We have relationship.

But not only is God a God of horizontal relationships within the Trinity; He's a God who has established a vertical relationship with us, with His creatures. And He pursues relationship with us.

I was just thinking this morning about some of the words that describe God's attitude and God's approach to His creatures. He's a lover. "God so loved the world." That's a relational word. He's a Father. That's a relational word. He's a friend. That's a relational word.

So God is a God of relationship. And God made us for relationship. He made us to have a vertical relationship with God. Our lives can never be fully connected with those around us until they are first connected vertically to God. And then God made us for a relationship that is horizontal, a relationship with each other.

Genesis chapter 2, "It's not good for man to be alone." Now man had God at that point. But God said, "There is something that is not complete, there's something that is not good" not that God was not sufficient; but God had designed man to have horizontal relationships so God made a helper suitable for Adam.

And by the way, if you're a wife, that's why God made you, to be a helper, a companion, a completer suitable to your husband. So God made us to need Him. We couldn't breath without Him, I mean we are dependent on our relationship with God and God made us to need each other. We can't make it alone. We weren't designed to be able to make it without that vertical and that horizontal relationship.

Now in Genesis chapter 3 when Eve believed the lie of Satan and sinned against God, the chapter we call the Fall of man and woman into sin, one of the immediate results of the Fall was that relationships were broken--man's relationship with God and man's relationship with other human beings. The man and woman's relationship with each other now became characterized by things that we read about just in the Book of Genesis.

We see fear and shame and guilt, bitterness, hostility, insecurity, insensitivity. We see violence, brutality. These relational issues stem from the Fall. It's not until Jesus came to Earth and went to the cross for our sins that we had the ability to have those relationships restored, because our sin separates us.

It separates us from God and it puts walls and barriers between us and others. It's the grace of God in Christ that brings us together; that makes us one, that gives us fellowship; that tears down those walls.

Let me read a passage that was on my heart this morning from Ephesians chapter 2. You may want to turn there. Ephesians chapter 2, verse 12, and I know I'm jumping into a larger context here, but this passage beginning in Ephesians 2:12 is a wonderful description of how the grace and the cross of Christ can restore broken relationships.

Look at all the relational terms in this passage. Verse 12, and he's speaking here specifically to those who were Gentiles who were not of the Hebrew faith. He said, "Remember that at one time you were separated from Christ." That's a word with a wall, there's a barrier there.

"You were alienated from the commonwealth of Israel." So you were separated from Christ, that's the vertical. You were alienated from the commonwealth of Israel, that means from the Jews, so there was a horizontal barrier there and you were strangers, that's another relational word. "You were strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world."

But, verse 13, "Now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off," that's isolation, "Now you've been brought near," that's an intimate word, "you've been brought near by the blood of Christ. For He Himself is our peace." That's a relational word.

He has made us both one. He has broken down in His flesh the dividing wall of hostility.

Verse 15, "He has abolished the law of commandments and ordinances that he might create in himself one new man in the place of the two so making peace." Intimacy.

"And that he might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility." "And he came," verse 17, "and preached peace to you who were far off."

Verse 18, "For through Him," that is through Christ, "we both have access in one Spirit to the Father. So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God."

You belong. You fit. You have a place. You have relationships. You have fellowship. "You've been built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus Himself being the cornerstone."

Verse 21, "In Him the whole structure being joined together grows into a holy temple in the Lord. In Him, you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit."

Isn't that incredible? That God would take those of us who were alienated, separated from Himself, separated, alienated from each other. He would send Jesus to be the peacemaker, the reconciler. It is possible for you and me to have right relationships with God and with each other because of the blood of Jesus Christ who brings warring parties together.

Now in the next verses, we're going to see some of the ingredients of those healthy, wholesome relationships. But remember the starting place. It happens at the cross.

Humble yourself. Acknowledge your need for Jesus Christ to be your reconciler and then let Him begin to build you and other believers together into a beautiful building fit for the presence of God Himself.

Leslie Basham: Have you ever considered what the Bible says about loneliness before? We want to help you connect the Bible to your real life and that's why we make all of Nancy's messages available on cassette or CD. You can listen back and think about today's topic or pass it along to a friend. You can get our current series, "The Power of Relationships" on three CD's or three cassettes for a suggested donation of $20.

When you get a copy, we'll include a notepad set that can encourage you and remind you of what the Bible says regarding relationships. It includes an inscription from Ecclesiastes 4:9 and 12. It includes a pad of writing paper, a magnetic memo pad, and an adhesive notepad complete with a color-coordinated pen.

You can get more details at ReviveOurHearts.com or call us toll free at 1-800-569-5959. Shipping is always free, but if you would like to make an additional donation when you call, we'd appreciate it. It will help us continue providing the program on the air.

You can send your gift to Revive Our Hearts.

If you have a relationship that isn't going too well, you may need to add a third party. Nancy will talk about that tomorrow. I hope you can be here for Revive Our Hearts.

Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss is a ministry partnership of Life Action Ministry.

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