A Foolish Woman's Schedule

Series: Becoming a Woman of Discretion

Leslie Basham: It seems like women are always running, from work to activities for their kids, to community and social events. Is it too much? Here's Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Our culture feeds that kind of frenetic, frazzled, frenzied lifestyle. Has it done it to you? Do you find yourselves always having to be on the move? You can't sit still.

Leslie Basham: This is Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss for Friday, February 13.

For the last twenty years our culture has been sending women a seductive message. You can have it all; you can do it all. But that kind of thinking can cause us to neglect what is most important.

Today, Nancy will help us evaluate our level of busyness as she continues in a series called "Becoming a Woman of Discretion."

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: We've been looking at the portrait of a foolish woman described for us in some great detail in Proverbs 7. We've seen that this foolish woman goes out to meet a young foolish man in the middle of the night. This woman is a married woman. She leaves her home and she goes out with the intent to ensnare and trap this young man who lacks understanding.

Let me begin reading in verse 10 of chapter 7: "And behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot, and subtil of heart."

In yesterday's session we talked about how this woman, though she is not a prostitute, she is dressed like one. She has the outward manifestation of an internal heart that is not pure; she has crafty, seductive motives.

Now verse 11 goes on to describe this woman. It says: "She is loud and stubborn; her feet abide not in her house." And by the way, if that is not a description of modern-day women, I don't know what is. "Now is she without, now in the streets, and lieth in wait at every corner. So she caught him, and kissed him," and spoke to him with an impudent or a brazen face.

Now let's just look at the phrases in that paragraph, beginning with this matter of loud and stubborn. Those words could be translated "she is tumultuous."

She is not the gentle woman that we see described in 1 Peter 3:4 where we are told a gentle spirit in a woman is what makes her beautiful in the sight of God. This woman is the opposite of that.

Proverbs 9:13 tells us that the foolish woman is clamorous; she's loud; she's demanding; she is not a gentle woman; she's a tumultuous woman. And she is stubborn, that word has to do with rebellion. She's defiant against God's law. She's defiant against the obligations of marriage and of morality.

This is the opposite of a woman who is submissive in her spirit. She's thinking, in a sense, I'm going to have it my way. I will do what I want to do. I will say what I want to say. I will go where I want to go. I will have whatever kind of relationship I want to have with whomever I wish to have it.

A wise woman has a gentle spirit. A wise woman is surrendered to the will of God and submissive to the obligation that God has placed her under. This woman is the opposite of that.

And as we've been saying the foolish woman is a treacherous woman. She's a destructive woman. She tears down her house with her hands.

Now, you may be thinking as we move through this passage, I'm not the kind of married woman that would ever leave my house and go out in the middle of the night and rendezvous with some foolish man out there. And you might not.

But ask yourself this question about who you are in your home, in your workplace, in your church environment. Would I be characterized as loud and stubborn, boisterous, always drawing attention to myself, out of control, not restrained.

Now we're not talking about the matter of personality here. God gives some women very outgoing personalities and some women are naturally more retiring and shy.

We're talking here about issues of the heart. This woman is loud; she's brazen and we're going to see that she just throws herself on this man.

And again, you might not do that toward other men in a literal or physical sense. But do you have a spirit that is always churning, always demanding, stirred up, loud, stubborn? Do you find yourself resisting the ways of God, resisting authority? Or you're not quick to yield or quick to give in?

You know, there are so many points in the ministry where I serve. It is so natural of me to always think that it has to end up being my way. I'll wrestle for that, not always in loud, obnoxious ways, sometimes in very subtle, quiet ways. But it has got to end up my way.

That's a picture of this foolish woman. She's not willing to yield to those who may have other opinions or input into her life.

As we continue in verse 11, we see that not only is she loud and stubborn but her feet abide not in her house. She's always out doing things, not content and satisfied to be where God has put her.

Now the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31 that we talk about, she is a woman who does go out and do things. She's out buying a field; she's out planting a vineyard; she's out shopping for her family. What's the difference?

In that case the virtuous woman, the wise woman, when she's out of her home, she's looking for ways to benefit and bless and serve her family or the surroundings where God has placed her if you're a single woman.

The foolish woman that we're reading about in Proverbs 7 is just a stirred up woman, she's just restless. She's easily discontent. The Scripture says that we should make it our goal to live a quiet and peaceable life (1 Timothy 2-3).

This woman is the opposite of that. She's always on the move, always got to have activity. Let me say our culture feeds that kind of frenetic, frazzled, frenzied lifestyle. Has it done it to you? Do you find yourselves always having to be on the move? You can't sit still.

Verse 12 says: "Now is she without, now in the streets, and lieth in wait at every corner." This woman is not a keeper at home. Titus 2 tells us in the New Testament that the godly woman learns to be a keeper at home, that her priority is to serve and bless and minister to her family; her heart centers in her home.

This woman is not that way. She has a home; she has a husband; she may have children, we don't know but that's not what she's focused on. She's outside; she's in the streets, you just see a woman who is here and there and everywhere. She always has to be involved in activities.

Let me tell you, it can be church activities that keep your heart away from your home. There is nothing wrong with church activities. But if you have to be in the church every time the doors are opened and every time there is a need in your church, you have to be the one to fulfill it, it may be that you're covering up a restless, foolish heart.

Now I'm not suggesting that the wise woman will not be involved in serving and ministering to others. Again it is a matter of where your heart is. Are you content within the influence and the sphere that God has assigned to you?

Because this woman is not focused on her home, not focused on her mate, not focused on her obligations as a woman of God and because she has accepted other involvements, other activities, other priorities that were not assigned to her by God, she is morally vulnerable.

That's why it is so important, women, that we let God establish our priorities and that we not say yes to every opportunity that comes along but that we wait on the Lord and say: "Lord, for this season in my life, is this what You want me to be involved in?"

If I go around accepting everything that needs to be done as my task and being involved in every relationship and every social opportunity and activity, I'm going to be more vulnerable to immoral and ungodly relationships.

Here's a woman in verse 12: "Now she is without, now she is in the streets, she lieth in wait at every corner." She's lurking; she's ready to catch her prey.

In her heart she is actually out seeking to draw men in. Now you may not be conscious that is your heart or your intent. It may not be your intent. But if you have that restless, tumultuous, loud, stubborn spirit, you are more prone to develop that kind of heart attitude that has a wrong intent toward other men.

Notice she lies in wait at every corner. Everywhere she goes she's tearing down her house. She's a foolish woman. She's not just a foolish woman with that one encounter in the middle of the night with that one man; she is a foolish woman so wherever she goes she's dangerous.

It happens everywhere--at work, in the neighborhood, at church. For her it may have become such a habit that she doesn't even realize what she is doing.

One of the things about foolishness is that it blinds us to see just how foolish we are. That's why as women we need to have other, older, godly women around us that can help us see things about ourselves that we can't see.

I have a friend who used to say that the last guy to know he's got a rip in his jacket is the guy that has it on. That's true about blind spots.

Some of us may have this loud, gad-about sort of spirit. It is such a habit for us. Maybe that was the way our mother was. Maybe that's the kind of home we grew up in. Maybe we've never known anything different. That's why we need to humble ourselves and have a teachable spirit and get around godly, mature women and say: "Do you see any of these characteristics in me?"

And if you're really bold, ask your husband; ask your children. And say, "Is it possible that I have some of those traits and don't even realize it?"

The foolish woman who has these traits in her heart is ultimately going to live out that foolishness and she is going to wreak havoc and destruction in the people around her.

That destruction may be in your own husband, in your children, in your grandchildren, in people that you work with, in others in your church. It may not just end up in an immoral relationship but it will end up tearing down your home, the environment, the circumstances in which God has placed you.

Leslie Basham: That's Nancy Leigh DeMoss encouraging us to slow down and take some time to reflect on the condition of our hearts.

Nancy will be back later in the program. But first I want to tell you about a tool you can use to evaluate your heart condition. Nancy has written a booklet called Becoming a Woman of Discretion.

It will help you probe your own heart for ways that you can grow in godly wisdom. We'll send you a copy for free when you call 1-800-569-5959. You can also write us at Revive Our Hearts or visit Revive Our Hearts.com.

While you are there, take a look at a special article we've posted for Valentine's Day. It's called "Truth in Love." It contains eleven thought-provoking questions to help you evaluate your level of love for God and for others. It would be a perfect tool for your personal devotions. You can read a copy at ReviveOurHearts.com.

Do you feel that you are more of an initiator toward men or a responder toward men? Nancy will explore that question on Monday. We hope that you can be here with us. Now here's Nancy to close our time in prayer.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Oh, Lord, would You open our eyes? Your Word says that wisdom comes from You. So we just say, Lord, show us what we cannot see about ourselves. And give us as women a spirit that is quiet and meek and gentle and easily led by Your spirit, a heart that is willing to live under authority, not resistant, not hard but gentle and tender toward You.

Oh, God, please make us wise women. For Jesus' sake we pray it. Amen.

Leslie Basham:

Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss is a ministry partnership of Life Action Ministry.

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