Daily Program

A Wise Woman's Happy Ending

Series: Becoming a Woman of Discretion

Leslie Basham: Everyone assumes they'll live happily ever after. But in order for us to experience a happy ending, there are some specific things we need to learn.

This is Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss for Friday, February 20.

For the last two weeks we've been looking at the portrait of a foolish woman found in Proverbs 7. If you missed any of the series, you can find out how to get a copy on cassette or CD by visiting ReviveOurHearts.com.

Today we'll discover that a foolish woman's life ends in tragedy. Here's Nancy to explain.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: I want you to turn your attention today to Proverbs, chapter 7. For these past several sessions we've been looking at a "Portrait of a Foolish Woman" as it's described here in the seventh chapter of Proverbs.

We've seen that a father is warning his son about a certain kind of woman to avoid. We've been looking at some of the characteristics of this woman, practical things, some tough nitty-gritty things that we've had to face and deal with, not only in her life but as we've seen some of those seeds and characteristics, some of those traits in our own lives.

This has been a very sobering text for me to study because over and over again, though not myself involved in immoral relationships as this woman was, I've seen aspects of her life in me. I've been warned and cautioned--and I think we all have--to say, "Lord, don't let me be that foolish woman."

And to even say, "Lord, I am in some respects that foolish woman." And we've been asking God to search our hearts and to show us where we have foolish characteristics so that we can repent of that foolishness and we can put on a heart of wisdom.

We've been contrasting this foolish woman with the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31 who manifests the heart and Spirit of Christ in her marriage and in her relationships.

We've been not only seeking to have God make us women of wisdom and deliver us from our foolishness; but we've stressed the importance of teaching these ways of God to our daughters, to younger women. You say, "I'm not an older woman. I can't be teaching younger women."

Well, one thing I learned from Elisabeth Elliot years ago is that all of us are an older woman to someone. Women today will not automatically understand these principles. And our responsibility as women of God is to live out these principles, and then to teach them to others. First, to your own sons and daughters and then to other young women and even young men that God may bring across your path.

Now, as we come to the close of Proverbs, chapter 7, this chapter ends on a very serious note. And I think that that's because God wants us to take this whole concept very seriously. If we let these characteristics of foolishness go unchecked in our lives or in the lives of our children, God wants us to see where we're going to end up.

And we talked in the last session about how this woman, in verse 26, the "foolish woman has cast down many wounded men, yea, many strong men have been slain by her." And then the last verse of the chapter, "her house is the way to hell, going down to the chambers of death."

That's not a happy ending. And I think what the writer of Proverbs is saying is, the end of a foolish woman is not a happy ending. She may think she has a happy life. And for a while she may. She may have some fun being foolish. Yes, sin has pleasures for a season.

But the writer here in the Proverbs is saying, "Look ahead to the end of the story and see where it will lead you." If you're a foolish woman, this is where you will end up and this is where you will take others with you. The bottom line is, "This foolish woman is deadly." And if you are a foolish woman, you are a deadly woman.

And to whatever extent I allow foolishness to stay in my own heart, I will be a deadly woman. We see this throughout the Proverbs, not just in this chapter. In chapter 2 [:18] of Proverbs the Scripture says "her house," speaking again of this foolish woman, "her house inclines unto death, her paths to the dead. None who go unto her return again." This is a dead-end street.

Now, the writer is warning his son about this kind of woman. But should not we, as women, take warning as well about being this kind of woman? Chapter 5 [:5] of Proverbs says, again speaking of this kind of woman, "her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell."

A few weeks ago I received an e-mail from a friend who had heard me speak on this topic. And she was writing to tell me what God had been showing her about her own life. In this case, the man she destroyed was her own husband.

By her own admission, her heart was never in her home through many years of marriage. She loved her work. She loved other people. She would have said that she loved her husband. But as she looks back now, she acknowledges that she never, through twenty-some years of marriage, really fulfilled her God-given responsibilities as a wife and as a mother. And as she wrote this note, her marriage was in a state of utter disrepair.

Now, I want to say that God is in the process of redeeming that marriage, but it's all only of grace. Before that point came, here's what she wrote to me: She said, "I am the epitome of the foolish woman you described. Over and over again from my earliest childhood, I've been this foolish adulterous woman. I now see the tragic consequences that have resulted in my husband and in our marriage. I have also planted those vicious seeds in our precious daughter. I have emasculated my husband because of my selfish, arrogant, manipulative, intimidating ways and words.

"How terribly, terribly wounded he is because of me. I've taken him down to the very core of hell itself because of my ungodly, willful ways. Today he took the wife of another man to church with him. How could I have driven such a wonderful man to do such a hideous thing before God? God help me. I see how wrong I've been" she said. "I'm trusting in His Word for healing, cleansing and restoration of my vile heart."

Now let me just point out a few things about that note. First of all, you can see so clearly that the paths of a foolish woman lead to death, that the way of a transgressor, as Proverbs says, is hard, not only for this woman but for her husband and for other men who fall into the trap of a foolish woman.

People who are aware of this situation would not have known that she was the foolish woman. They knew what her husband was doing by becoming involved in an illicit affair. And everyone assumed this was all him and he was a very foolish man and made some very wrong choices; he cannot blame his wife for the choices he has made. But this woman got honest enough with the Lord to say, "It's not just him, it's me. I have to take responsibility for the ways that I have been foolish and ultimately brought this man to destruction."

You see, she's not responsible for his failures. He's responsible for his failures. But she is responsible for her failures. And the way God is bringing mercy and grace and restoration into this marriage is that a wife, first, when there was no evidence of turning on the part of her husband, first turned her heart to the Lord in confession, humility, brokenness and repentance and as God has wrought an incredible change, is bringing about a change--it's a process--in this woman's heart, God has simultaneously begun to move in the heart of her husband and is beginning to turn his heart back toward home.

Now, I can't promise you that if you're a wise woman, your husband will never wander from God. I can't promise you that your husband will never do foolish and sinful things just because you walk with God.

But I can tell you, if you're a foolish woman, your pathway will lead to death. And I can tell you, if you are a wise woman, you will experience freedom from fear. And you will experience the life of Christ within you regardless of what choices your husband may or may not make.

Leslie Basham: We've been taking a sobering look with Nancy Leigh DeMoss at the consequences of foolishness. Nancy will be back to pray with us. But first, let me tell you about a package we've put together to help you grow in wisdom. It's called the Becoming a Woman of Discretion makeover kit. Now this won't help you make over your outward appearance, but the interactive booklets and Bible studies that it contains will help you make over your heart.

For more information, visit our Web site, ReviveOurHearts.com. Or call toll-free 1‑800‑569‑5959.  Today is the last program in our series on Proverbs 7.

If you missed any of the programs, you can get a copy on two cassettes for a suggested donation of $8 or two CDs for $10. For more information, call us at 1‑800‑569‑5959.

Did something really stick with you this week about becoming a woman of discretion? Would you write and tell us?

We're bombarded with pictures of what the world considers beautiful. On Monday, Nancy will have a conversation with Ann Ortlund about what it means to be truly beautiful. We hope you can be here. Now here's Nancy to close our time in prayer.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: I wonder if we could just take a moment here to bow our hearts before the Lord and we've looked at these very serious truths about being a foolish woman and we've seen ourselves at places here and now we see the devastating consequences that come about from being foolish women.

And I have a great burden in my heart that we as Christian women would humble ourselves and repent of our foolishness--individually and also collectively as Christian women. And so as I pray this prayer of repentance and humility, would you join me in your heart if this is what you want to express to the Lord?

Oh, Lord, I just want to say on behalf of myself and my sisters in this room and other Christian women throughout this nation that in many ways we have been so foolish. We have sinned against You and against the men that we ought to love with our words, with our behavior, with our attitudes, with our spirit.

Oh, God, I just pray that You would forgive us for ways that we have been foolish, and for the men that we have cast down and led to death, spiritual and moral and emotional death by our foolishness.

Oh, God, please have mercy on us. Cleanse us, create a new and right and clean and wise heart within us. Change us by the power of Your Spirit. Transform us into the women that You made us to be, women filled with the Spirit of Jesus, women of virtue--and may our lives draw men and women and children and young people to say, "God's ways are right, and I want to embrace them also." Thank You for hearing us and cleansing us and by faith using us as wise women of God. We pray in Jesus' name. Amen.

Leslie Basham:

Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss is a ministry partnership of Life Action Ministry.

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