Daily Program

A Foolish Woman's Deception

Series: Becoming a Woman of Discretion

Leslie Basham: We need to be careful; sometimes smooth-talking, nice words can cover up an impure heart.

This is Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss for Wednesday, February 11.

You've probably been around someone who says things that sound nice, but you realize that the ideas behind the words are dangerous. Today Nancy Leigh DeMoss will tell us about one of the most powerful weapons a foolish woman uses, her words. Here's Nancy.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: We've been talking about two kinds of women: wise women and foolish women. We want to be wise women, who build up our homes, build up the lives of those around us.

We do not want to be foolish women because the foolish woman tears down her house, she tears down the lives of the people around her. And during these days, we're doing a study through Proverbs, chapter 7, which is one of the most complete descriptions of a foolish woman that you will find anywhere in God's Word.

We've looked at the first several verses and we've seen that this dad is warning his son about certain kinds of women to avoid.

He says in verse 5a: "That they may keep thee from the strange woman." Now that word "strange" in this older translation is not used in the sense that we use it today. It's a word that means "loose," a woman who has turned aside from the right way.

Some of your translations say an "adulteress"; this is an immoral woman. And we've seen that--though most of us may not consider ourselves that, and may indeed not be immoral women--yet there are characteristics of a foolish (or an immoral) woman we see in this chapter that may be true of us.

If you have those characteristics, you increase the chances of becoming exactly the woman who is pictured here. And so we're moving now into verse 5b; this father is warning his son about "the strange woman, from the stranger which flattereth with her words."

That word "flatter" means "to be smooth." Here's the woman who has smooth talk, and this dad is saying to his son--and moms and dads need to warn their sons today--be careful about women who come at you with smooth talk, talk that covers up a heart that is not pure. The speech may sound okay, but what is underneath is dangerous.

It's interesting to me that the first characteristic of the foolish woman (described in this passage) has to do with her words, the power of the tongue. It doesn't start with her behavior. It doesn't even start with her heart attitudes, although those are coming. (In the next verses, we'll see the description of her heart attitude.)

But Scripture says that whatever is in the heart is what comes out of the mouth. The way we talk is a dead give-away to what's in our hearts. So if you want to know what is in your heart, look at the way that you talk. Examine your speech. There's much about that in the Scriptures, but here we're particularly looking at a woman who uses her tongue ultimately to ensnare the men around her. It's smooth talk. And we see here the power of the tongue to destroy and to tear down our homes.

The Scriptures say that death and life are in the power of the tongue. That's a sobering thing. You know, we women--I don't know exactly what all the statistics are, but I'm told--we speak about three times as many words a day as men or something like that; so, if that's true, we need to be three times as careful what we say. And the foolish woman, with her tongue, ultimately destroys and wrecks the lives of the men around her.

Now, one of your translations refers in this verse to "seductive words." She flatters with her words; that is, she speaks with seductive words. We see this thread going through the whole Book of Proverbs.

In the second chapter of Proverbs it speaks of a woman who flatters with her lips. In chapter 5, verse 3, reference is made to "the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her words are smoother than oil." Smooth, they seem to be, sweet words; but actually they're damaging and harmful words.

Toward the end of this chapter (7), in verse 21a, we read something else about this woman's speech; it say's, "With her much fair speech she caused him to yield." She conquered this man with her tongue. She may have been half his size, but she had incredible power over him because of her tongue, her flattering words, her seductive words.

Verse 21b of this chapter 7 says, "With the flattering of her lips she forced him." (Or, as one modern translation says, "She seduced him with her smooth talk.")

Now, as we move on in the passage, we see a picture being described in verses 6 through 9. Let me read those verses and start to get the context here. The author says, "For at the window of my house I looked through my casement, and I beheld among the simple ones, I discerned among the youths, a young man void of understanding, passing through the street near her corner" (Whose corner? The corner of this loose woman.) "And he went the way to her house, in the twilight, in the evening, in the black and dark night."

Oh, what a picture is painted here. This is a set-up for trouble. You have not just a foolish woman here but a foolish man as well. They're like magnets. And, by the way, watch out for the kind of people that your children are attracted to. If you find your children, your daughters, being attracted to foolish young men, be careful and begin to warn your daughters about this.

They are drawn to each other, and you just find them going the way to her house. It's almost like he can't stop himself. He's got a foolish heart so he's being drawn toward a foolish woman.

But we're not focusing on the man in this session, we are focusing on the characteristics of the woman. See what she does: she preys on simple men. This man is young; he may not be just chronologically young, he is immature as well. He may be an older man in age, but he is still immature. He lacks judgment; he's careless; he's morally unstable. He's a man devoid of understanding.

And notice in this description that both of them are at the wrong place at the wrong time. This scripture gives incredible detail here. In verse 9 it says, it's "in the twilight, in the evening, in the black and dark night." I mean, how many ways can it say that this is night-time? It's a dark place; he's going the way to her house. He apparently knows what kind of woman she is, and we're going to see that she's on the lookout for men just like him.

The application is this: Stay away from places and situations where the natural thing would be to do something wrong. You may not do anything wrong, but stay away from the place where--in just a certain set of circumstances--you, or that other person, might naturally be tempted to do something wrong.

Teach your children to stay away from those kinds of situations. She should never have been alone with a man other than her husband, particularly not at night, in the middle of the night. Not alone. This is a set-up for disaster.

So watch out for these romantic settings and times and places where you may find yourself tempted to give your heart to someone other than your mate. Or you may tempt someone else to give their heart to you, when it doesn't belong to you.

Over and over again I hear from women who put themselves in situations like this, and end up making very foolish, deadly decisions. Let me read to you some of the kinds of things that women have written to me.

One woman said, "I have struggled with Internet addiction. At one point I was on my computer up to 15 hours a day. It was my way of escaping my empty, lonely marriage."

And by the way, I think that's what this woman in Proverbs 7 was probably doing. She didn't know about the computer but that can be your dark night, your place for making a rendezvous.

She goes on to say, "In the last months I've curbed my Internet usage. I realized I was neglecting our six children." How, with six children, you can spend 15 hours a day on the computer, I don't know. But she said, "I decided to make some changes. However, I met a wonderful man through a chat room. We've met face-to-face several times now, and I'm considering leaving my husband for this man."

Another woman wrote and said, "My pastor and I are very close. Just yesterday he acknowledged in a counseling session that he was very attracted to me."

Now this is obviously a foolish man and I don't want to pick on pastors because many, many pastors are godly, wise men. But in this case, this was a man in the ministry but he said, after telling her that he was attracted, that he would never act on his desire because he knew that would hurt. It was very foolish of that man to say that to that woman.

But she said; "Now I feel deeply attracted to him. Help me, Lord, to let go of this and give me wisdom in setting boundaries."

Now, if I didn't read the next sentence, you would think he was the only foolish one in this equation. And she said, "Help me, Lord, to have wisdom in setting boundaries. I cut his hair and give him a massage once a month." She's a foolish woman. Let me say, she was a foolish woman. I was able to contact this woman after she wrote this; and God did a beautiful redemptive, restorative work in her life, in her marriage.

What she wrote there would not any longer be true of her to the best of my knowledge. But what I had to say to her when we talked on the phone was this: "You have made some very foolish choices. You put yourself in a wrong situation, a situation where it was natural to have an ungodly attraction."

She was naive initially, not realizing where this would lead her. And that's why we need to become wise women, not naïve. I find that many women today don't realize how foolish some of these choices are. That's why we need to get into the Word of God and get the Word of God into us so we can become enlightened; so we can understand what some of these choices do to us and where they will lead us and how destructive that will be to the people around us.

Leslie Basham: That's Nancy Leigh DeMoss encouraging us to be in the habit of making good choices. Nancy will be back in just a minute with some additional comments.

As you just heard, we need to learn how to make wise choices. Nancy's written a free booklet that can help us do just that. It's called Becoming a Woman of Discretion. It will help you apply the principles you've heard about today. We want you to learn to become a woman of discretion. That's why we'd like to give you this booklet for free. Just give us a call at 1-800-569-5959, or visit us on-line at ReviveOurHearts.com.

When you contact us, would you consider making a gift to this ministry? We're able to buy air-time on radio stations like this one because of the generous contributions of our listeners. Your gift could make a big impact in the lives of women.

For example, one listener wrote and said, "Your message on the tongue has opened my eyes to the damage I have caused my spouse. I have repented and have asked the Lord to give me a new heart and a new tongue to bless and not to tear him down anymore."

Would you consider partnering with us? You can send your donation to Revive Our Hearts or call 1-800-569-5959. You can also donate on-line at ReviveOurHearts.com.

Think about this for a minute. Do the clothes we wear reflect whether we have a wise or a foolish heart? That will be our topic tomorrow on Revive Our Hearts. I hope you can join us.

Now for the final challenge for today, here's Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Is there even the seed of a relationship where you might not be doing anything wrong, but where the natural trail is one that could lead into a wrong relationship.

Can I just plead with you, appeal to you? Get out of that situation; don't play with fire. Just say: "Lord, would You give me the grace and the courage to stop right now and get myself out of that situation." If you have that heart desire, God will give you the courage; He'll give you the grace and you can begin to walk in the pathway of wisdom.

Leslie Basham:

Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss is a ministry partnership of Life Action Ministry.

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