A Revival in My House, with Betsy GomezA Revival in My House
Leslie Basham: Betsy Gomez was convicted when she started listening to Revive Our Hearts on the Internet.
Betsy Gomez: When I started listening to these teachings of Nancy, I felt so confronted. For the first time in my life, I could see myself as a sinner.
Leslie: This is Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss for Friday, May 4.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: The month of May is always a transition time for Revive Our Hearts. It’s our fiscal year end, which means we’re getting ready to wrap up our accounting books and to launch new budgets and make new plans.
During this past fiscal year, a highlight for me was standing in front of 3,000 women in the Dominican Republic. This was the first international conference for Revive Our Hearts. What an incredible encouragement it was to watch the conference sell out weeks in advance as women from all across Latin America came together in the Dominican Republic. I can hardly describe for you how enthusiastic these women were to learn about God’s Word and His design for their lives.
Now, as Revive Our Hearts is transitioning from one fiscal year to the next, we are hoping to significantly ramp up our Spanish language broadcasting. Right now, Revive Our Hearts is being translated in to Spanish two days a week. Because we’ve seen God working so powerfully through this outreach, and because the need in Latin America is so great, we’ve been asking the Lord to provide what is needed to produce a Spanish language version of Revive Our Hearts five days a week.
We’re about to hear the story of one young woman from the Dominican Republic who has been transformed.
But first, let me mention, here in the month of May, we’re asking the Lord to provide $350,000 in listener support. This will help us end the fiscal year strong and enable us to continue funding the ministry at current levels. It will also help us move forward on new initiatives like the Spanish-language broadcasting. So, would you ask the Lord what He would have you give during this important time? To make your donation, give us a call at 1-800-569-5959, or you can visit us online at ReviveOurHearts.com and get all the details.
Now let’s listen to one example of the ways that God is drawing women to Himself in the Dominican Republic. Leslie is going to tell us the story of a young woman who is discovering the joy that comes from embracing God’s design for her life.
Leslie: Betsy Gomez grew up in church, yet she never saw a biblical picture of womanhood lived out.
Betsy: I didn’t have this caring example of a mom and home. I just grew up looking at women, that they left even their homes and family to dedicate themselves to ministry. That was my dream. I wanted to work full-time in ministry one day in my life. Then I went to college. I graduated in marketing, and I made a Master in Communications. I thought everything was okay, and I didn’t need that example or a visual model that taught me how to be a wife or a good mother. I thought that I learned everything I had to.
I got married very young with the idea that everything was going to be perfect; that I didn’t need to have a role model; that I didn’t need anybody to tell me how to be a mom or a good wife. So I think I didn’t realize I had a problem during our first years. Then I got pregnant. So when I got pregnant, I started thinking that it was going to be a big challenge for me, being a mom and also being a full-time worker.
Leslie: Even though she knew it would be challenging, Betsy hurried back to the workforce. In her community, it was just assumed that being a professional woman was a higher priority than investing in children.
Betsy: In my country we have a three month maternity leave. But my job needed me in two months. So I had to leave my house, and I had to go to my job earlier than I was supposed to. When I did that, I thought it was okay because I needed to maintain my job and I needed to be responsible with my projects.
I was not realizing my most important project that I just released. It was my baby. I just wanted to follow the example I saw in my mom of a hard-working mom. That situation forced my husband to spend more time in my home since he had a more flexible work. He worked as a consultant. He could choose his schedule. He used to spend more time with my little boy.
Moses Gomez: I thought if I helped in my house, I helped with our marriage.
Leslie: This is Betsy’s husband, Moses. He had a God-given desire to serve his family. But he also knew that God had called him to lead his family and provide for his family as well.
Moses: We knew behind that situation, something wasn’t working okay.
Leslie: Because of her work schedule, Betsy had very little time to spend with her son.
Betsy: I had the opportunity to be with him on weekends because I got home very late at night or in the evening, and I was really tired. I was thinking about myself. I wasn’t thinking about my baby, and the worst part is that I wanted everybody to think that I was a perfect mom. I used to do everything that I could to let people think that everything was okay. In my heart I started feeling like I knew something was wrong.
One day I remember, I was very late at my work, and I felt like I don’t belong here. It was like in that moment I felt that was the worst place for me to be in that moment. And I thought, “Why? If I can’t be here, where? Where?” And I thought, “Ministry. I have to be working in ministry.” Well, I felt like so anxious and stressed for a week. In my heart I felt like I was doing something wrong.
Leslie: Betsy’s worries increased one day when she arrived home, saw her son, reached her arms out, and watched him run away toward his dad. He treated Betsy like a stranger.
Betsy: When I got home, my son rejected me because we didn’t have the opportunity to spend time together, like to bond.
Moses: When I saw him rejecting her, than I decided to be concerned because this is not a normal situation, because everybody told us that boys prefer mom.
Leslie: Betsy got some important perspective on her situation one night when she couldn’t sleep. Moses had attended a Desiring God conference in the U.S. There, he had heard about Revive Our Hearts and told Betsy about it.
Betsy: I listened on the Internet to a message that Nancy gave at a True Woman conference, and it was called “What is a True Woman.” When I kept on listening to what she was telling, I realized that I was so far away of what God had intended for me as a woman. I remember her telling about the responsibilities of a woman at her house, with her husband, with her children.
Nancy (conference message): "And so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind and submissive to their own husbands that the Word of God may not be reviled." (Titus 2:3-5)
Betsy: The thing that impacted me the most was the way she taught that it was sin, like you were sinning. When you don’t accomplish God’s design for your life, you are telling Him, “I don’t want to live according to Your design of what You intended for me.” That teaching helped me to understand that I had to live according to God’s priorities and not according to sinful ways. When I started listening to this teaching of Nancy, I felt so confronted. For the first time in my life, I could see myself as a sinner.
When you grow up in church, sometimes you think that you’re okay. Even though you have problems in your life or in your marriage, it’s okay. But for the first time in my life, I could see that I was full of pride. My life was a very sinful life. I was focused just on myself, and I was not taking care of my husband. I was not taking care of my son. That night I cried for hours because I couldn’t imagine that I was a sinner woman and my priorities were very, very mixed. They were not in the right place.
Leslie: Betsy realized that her priorities were out of order. She was a talented marketing professional, but for this season of life, she had been called to a very important role. She decided to quit her job so she could devote her energy and talent to raising the next generation.
Immediately fear set in. What would her family think? Was she wasting all the effort she spent in getting her master’s degree?
Betsy: I was convicted that my first ministry and my first responsibility in this world is to take care of my family and to be a support for my husband. When I came to the realization about quitting my job, I thought it was going to be easy. When I actually quit my job, I looked at myself and said, “Okay, what am I going to do now? How can I start?” I think God started to break so many things in my life and wrong patterns that I had learned. God started to change my heart, putting in me the desire of doing what I had to do. I never had the desire before of cleaning my house or doing the laundry by myself.
God surrounded me with a bunch of girls and friends that helped me. In the beginning I was kind of embarrassed. I didn’t want them to teach me because I wanted to figure it out myself. But then God helped me to be humble and accept. I remember one of the Revive Our Hearts radio shows I remember that Nancy was telling me, “You don’t have to be shy of asking for help.” Also, I had this great desire in my heart to teach my son the Word of God. So I asked for some materials. It’s been amazing.
Leslie: Betsy continued to learn how to embrace serving her family. She learned many practical things that she was never taught while growing up like: how to cook, or how to organize a home. But far more importantly, she was learning to have a heart for serving others.
In this process God used a teaching series from Revive Our Hearts. Betsy went to ReviveOurHearts.com and found archives of the series, “The Counter-Cultural Woman: A Fresh Look at Proverbs 31.” This teaching series had a big effect on Betsy.
Betsy: I think it was perfect for me because it helped me to put everything in place. That series helped me, day by day, to understand the purpose of God for me as a woman, as a wife, as a mom. I remember that she said “If you are married, I think it would be a good idea to listen to this radio show with your husband.”
So I called my husband and I said, “Okay. We have a date. At noon we have to listen to this radio program.” So he said, "Okay." My husband and I listened to that radio series. It was amazing how this was impacting not just me but also my husband because he stepped up as the full provider of our house, of our home. That released me of any sense of guilt of leaving my job. So I quit my job. It was very funny because I kept on explaining to my boss the reasons I was going to quit my job, and nobody understood in my office. Like, “Betsy, you are making the worst decision in your life.”
Leslie: After quitting her marketing job and focusing on her job as a wife and mom, Betsy needed support. God brought Laura De Chavez into her life. Laura is instrumental in translating Revive Our Hearts into Spanish and heading up the Revive Our Hearts ministry in the Dominican Republic.
Laura gave Betsy a copy of the workbook, Seeking Him. Nancy Leigh DeMoss and the team at Life Action Ministries wrote it to show readers how to walk through a process of personal revival. Betsy committed to going through the workbook and meeting with a small group to discuss it.
Betsy: So my husband and I went to this study together, and it was amazing. I think that it was like the best moment in years because we could see each other as we really were. And we started confessing a lot of things that we didn’t know about each other. It was perfect in that moment because it was a new start for us—being honest with ourselves and having a clean conscience. Sometimes we thought that what happened in the past was in the past. You don’t have to touch that. You just have to move on from where you are.
Being transparent and honest with each other helped us in so many ways to understand how sin was stopping us to grow, and how our relationship could grow knowing each other as the way we are. So I think that confession was primary for the revival in our home.
Honestly, there were moments I wanted to close the book, and I didn’t want to continue. But then the Holy Spirit helped us to move on and not being ashamed of our sin because that is why Christ came, to make us free of our sins. We had a lot of pride in our hearts, and we didn’t realize we had it.
Moses: Wow, Seeking Him is an amazing tool of Revive Our Hearts ministry.
Leslie: Again, this is Betsy’s husband, Moses.
Moses: I need God. I need His grace. I need to be merciful with my wife. I need to be honest with my wife. And He helped me to be clear—totally clear—crystal clear with my wife. He helped me to go back and tell her something that maybe I didn’t tell her because I thought that was in my past. The exercise to start to confess to her and to be merciful to each other has made our relationship stronger.
Betsy: This Seeking Him study helped us to see ourselves as we really were. So a revival started to happen in my house. I thank God for resources like this and ministries like this.
Leslie: As Betsy continued to experience a revival in her home, she began to look for ways to support her husband. She wanted him to do all God had called him to do. Now, Betsy enjoyed living in Santo Domingo and didn’t want to leave. But an opportunity rose for Moses to take a new step in ministry.
Betsy: Since we got married, he had dreamt to start theology and graduate. We moved to the other city. I had no help at home with the house or my son. I got pregnant. So I had the perfect opportunity to practice what God was preparing me to do. So I am right now just taking care of my son, taking care of my husband, taking care of my life, my spiritual life, my house. I think that sometimes God needs to put us in a place where we just have Him and just Him.
Leslie: Earlier, we heard how Betsy felt called to full-time ministry. She now realized that calling was being fulfilled, right where she was.
Betsy: I thought ministry was going out of my house and impacting lives out of my home. It is so great that now I can understand that in this season of my life, God is calling me into a full-time ministry to impact the lives I care for the most, my husband and my children. And honestly, in the beginning I thought I was going to be in my house sitting down with nothing to do.
But now I understand it’s not only about cleaning or washing dishes or preparing meals or giving a bath to my boy. It’s about caring, about loving, about nurturing, about teaching my son—impacting my son with the message of Jesus Christ. I know that this ministry is going to impact a lot of lives in better ways than if I go outside my house.
Leslie: Do you remember how Proverbs 31 meant so much to Betsy? Her husband sees his wife developing the qualities described in this chapter.
Moses: Verse 28 it says, “Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.” And I would like to say to my wife that you are a blessing for us.
Leslie: At Revive Our Hearts we often talk about a “true woman movement.” About a revival in hearts, homes, communities, and nations. The story we’ve just heard is one example.
Nancy: Thanks, Leslie. And the point is not quit your job. The thing every woman needs to ask is, “During this season of life, what is God’s purpose—His agenda—for my life? Have I fully surrendered everything to Him? Am I embracing His design and His calling for me as a woman? Now what steps do I need to take to live that out?”
Leslie: Nancy, you included this idea in your book, Lies Women Believe. It includes sections about lies women believe about priorities, about relationships, and about children. Today we are offering Lies Women Believe to anyone who donates to support the ministry.
Nancy: And today we are trying a first on Revive Our Hearts. We are offering a copy of Lies Women Believe in Spanish when you support the ministry with a gift of any size. Maybe you speak Spanish yourself, or maybe you know someone who does and you would like to make this a gift to them. So if you want to encourage Revive Our Hearts to continue ministering to Spanish-speaking women, let us know at ReviveOurHearts.com.
If you’re able, include a gift to support the ministry. And when you do, let us know whether you would like the English or the Spanish version of Lies Women Believe. You can also call to make your donations. The number to call is 1-800-569-5959. And when you do, let us know whether you would like a copy of Lies Women Believe in English or in Spanish.
Now, if you have never supported Revive Our Hearts before, just a reminder that your gift will be doubled by some friends of the ministry who know how crucial the month of May is for us. So again, give us a call at 1-800-569-5959, or visit us at ReviveOurHearts.com.
Leslie: On Monday, Erin Davis will be here to describe ways moms can invest in their young children. Please be back for Revive Our Hearts.
Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss is an outreach of Life Action Ministries.
All Scripture is taken from the English Standard Version.Offers available only during the broadcast of the radio series.